My daughter drew this picture of me, I added a little touch-up, it's now another Manny Stiles logo. Note the vertical, different sized eyes...
Prepare for more spontaneous eratica! (yes, I spelled that right)
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Friday, November 03, 2006
It's the least wonderful time of the year...
Once again, political season is upon us. Yippee! We get to watch hundreds of commercials of people constantly slandering their opponents, all I'm left with is the name of the opponent... Who am I supposed to vote for again?
WARNING - Here comes the reant....I can't stand it! These buffoons talk about things of the past, how they did this or that... Hey, douche bags! If you want me to vote for you, tell me what you're GOING to do! And as far as slandering your opponent because they're:
-a criminal
-an adulterer
-someone who takes cash on the side
-someone who always misses votes on the floor
-an idiot
Guess what? YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!
If you WANT to be a politician, you clearly have something wrong with you. You can say you "want to make a difference" or "want to change the world"... Guess what? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. You can make MORE change and affect the world more positively without being in a political office.
Me thinks you want to be a politician for:
-the money
-the illegal money
-the corporate interest money
-YOU'RE AN IDIOT
-the supposed prestige and power
-or possibly the money
Look... the world, our government and most decision makers are ALL stupid. People are stupid. We don't ever do what's right, we do what's right for US. If we did what's right, we'd already have hunger, cancer, AIDS and pollution eradicated. We'd have the free electricity everywhere int he world through solar collection, wind generation and get this - lightning collection. Geez, just like the guy (Edison) who paved the way for electricity usage said we should do way back before the year 1900!!!
Do you think a politician will EVER allow us to use FREE and endless resources AND give them away for FREE instead of using highly profitable (and horribly polluting) coal or even more highly profitable (and dangerously radioactive) nuclear power? Or even more highly profitable (and highly polluting and war mongering) oil??? Hell no.
Why? Because it's always been that way. Teh answers to all of our problems are SO SIMPLE that they DON'T make sense to our programmed-to-think-a-certain-way feeble little minds... What is that certain way? Don't think.
Don't think for yourself. Don't find something simpler, like collecting your rainwater to water your garden and precious green grass... Use the water from the resevoirs and from the aquafers and wells and suck the ground dry instead!!! Hell take a 500 gallon shower while you're at it, do a couple of half-loads of dishes in your dishwasher. Don't worry about the thousands of people dying around the world because they have no drinkable water, it's not your problem, right?
Don't think for yourself. Don't use a renewable resource like straw to build a house. Burn the straw, pollute the environment and use known cancer-causing and mold retaining fiberglass to insulate your house at twice the cost and a third of the effectiveness. Baled straw has an insulating factor of r50 while fiberglass is around r15. Now let the big, bad wolf know that baled straw doesn't burn. Of course, let the lumber and insulation industry just keep baled straw a big secret or laugh it off...
The answers are right before us, IDIOTS. The answers are so simple and we are so complex we'll never see it. Caveman didn't need TiVo. Egyptians didn't use computers to build the pyramids. Everything you'll ever need is right here already, yet we're looking for answers 'out there'.
Gee, just think if we took all the money we spent on going into space and fought diseases and world hunger with it instead? Where would we be today?
Where would we be if we didn't make HALF of the "blockbuster movies" (they sucked anyway) and instead used the money to support all of these worthy causes that Hollywood always SAYS they supporting? Me think AIDS would be the new smallpox and for God's sake (and every man's), breast cancer would be loooong gone!
Just think if we spent our time designing engines that run on water and have a by-product of water and oxygen instead of paying $3.00 a gallon for gas because of hyperbole and fear mongering... oh yeah, the design for the engine I describe ALREADY HAS BEEN DESIGNED. Hey, politicians WHY are we still using oil, anyway??? IDIOTS.
It "used to be" the American way to innovate and overcome obstacles as a way to provide a simpler, more effective way of life. Now we have less freedom than ever. We're tied to our cellphone, filling our SUV with 40 gallons of 94 octane or contemplating Paris Hilton's next event.
But because we're too lazy and fat to do the work up front to take care of the problems later on... of course eliminating problems before they become problems is not what humans do well. Want an example? Just take a look at Congress.
WARNING - Here comes the reant....I can't stand it! These buffoons talk about things of the past, how they did this or that... Hey, douche bags! If you want me to vote for you, tell me what you're GOING to do! And as far as slandering your opponent because they're:
-a criminal
-an adulterer
-someone who takes cash on the side
-someone who always misses votes on the floor
-an idiot
Guess what? YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!
If you WANT to be a politician, you clearly have something wrong with you. You can say you "want to make a difference" or "want to change the world"... Guess what? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. You can make MORE change and affect the world more positively without being in a political office.
Me thinks you want to be a politician for:
-the money
-the illegal money
-the corporate interest money
-YOU'RE AN IDIOT
-the supposed prestige and power
-or possibly the money
Look... the world, our government and most decision makers are ALL stupid. People are stupid. We don't ever do what's right, we do what's right for US. If we did what's right, we'd already have hunger, cancer, AIDS and pollution eradicated. We'd have the free electricity everywhere int he world through solar collection, wind generation and get this - lightning collection. Geez, just like the guy (Edison) who paved the way for electricity usage said we should do way back before the year 1900!!!
Do you think a politician will EVER allow us to use FREE and endless resources AND give them away for FREE instead of using highly profitable (and horribly polluting) coal or even more highly profitable (and dangerously radioactive) nuclear power? Or even more highly profitable (and highly polluting and war mongering) oil??? Hell no.
Why? Because it's always been that way. Teh answers to all of our problems are SO SIMPLE that they DON'T make sense to our programmed-to-think-a-certain-way feeble little minds... What is that certain way? Don't think.
Don't think for yourself. Don't find something simpler, like collecting your rainwater to water your garden and precious green grass... Use the water from the resevoirs and from the aquafers and wells and suck the ground dry instead!!! Hell take a 500 gallon shower while you're at it, do a couple of half-loads of dishes in your dishwasher. Don't worry about the thousands of people dying around the world because they have no drinkable water, it's not your problem, right?
Don't think for yourself. Don't use a renewable resource like straw to build a house. Burn the straw, pollute the environment and use known cancer-causing and mold retaining fiberglass to insulate your house at twice the cost and a third of the effectiveness. Baled straw has an insulating factor of r50 while fiberglass is around r15. Now let the big, bad wolf know that baled straw doesn't burn. Of course, let the lumber and insulation industry just keep baled straw a big secret or laugh it off...
The answers are right before us, IDIOTS. The answers are so simple and we are so complex we'll never see it. Caveman didn't need TiVo. Egyptians didn't use computers to build the pyramids. Everything you'll ever need is right here already, yet we're looking for answers 'out there'.
Gee, just think if we took all the money we spent on going into space and fought diseases and world hunger with it instead? Where would we be today?
Where would we be if we didn't make HALF of the "blockbuster movies" (they sucked anyway) and instead used the money to support all of these worthy causes that Hollywood always SAYS they supporting? Me think AIDS would be the new smallpox and for God's sake (and every man's), breast cancer would be loooong gone!
Just think if we spent our time designing engines that run on water and have a by-product of water and oxygen instead of paying $3.00 a gallon for gas because of hyperbole and fear mongering... oh yeah, the design for the engine I describe ALREADY HAS BEEN DESIGNED. Hey, politicians WHY are we still using oil, anyway??? IDIOTS.
It "used to be" the American way to innovate and overcome obstacles as a way to provide a simpler, more effective way of life. Now we have less freedom than ever. We're tied to our cellphone, filling our SUV with 40 gallons of 94 octane or contemplating Paris Hilton's next event.
But because we're too lazy and fat to do the work up front to take care of the problems later on... of course eliminating problems before they become problems is not what humans do well. Want an example? Just take a look at Congress.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Happy Halloween (Post Script)
I would have to say, this year's Halloween was the best I've ever had! Yeah, the Suns lost; big whoop it's only game one... now we know they won't be able to go 82-0. It was a GREAT Halloween for many reasons including:
*I won the Pumpkin Pie Eating Contest at work for the second year in a row!
*I got to scare the piss out of a bunch of kids (not mine)'
*My kids got to go trick-or-treating and had a ball
My 3 year old daughter dressed as a Princess AND played the role perfectly. Acting like the little princess she is... polite, courteous and absolutely thrilled to see other kids dressed up and having fun. The little girl is funny because she is completely not afraid of anything Halloweeny... She told me as the day was turning to dusk that "there would be many ghosts out tonight" and that she "is not afraid of ghosts or witches". She was watching the other kids in the neighborhood go out and she was exclaiming what they were all dressed as - "Look a Witch, Mommy! Oooh, dat one's a Pumpkin! Look, Daddy! Another Witch!!!"
My 14 month-old son earlier in the day FINALLY got his brain to click regarding this whole standing-walking perambulatory concept we all take for granted. He now "gets it" when ti comes to walking, so he'll berunnng before too long! He dressed up as a Super-baby with cape and all!
As my wife and a friend took the kids out trick or treating, I stayed at home to trick the treaters with help of my buddy John, who dressed as a Hick Farmer. He would answer the door in creepy manners and jump out at the youngsters while I peered through a window and using a microphone, some voice effects, some scary music/noise samples, a candy-laced hyper buzz and a 300 watt amplifier to scare the piss out of them!
Many kids were scared before they even got halfway up the drive! The music, noise and me bellowing "Mwuh-ha-ha!" really freeked them out! One kid inparticular was frightened so much he came up to the door by being pushed by his Mom. He was dressed as Superman so I bellowed "You're a Superhero! Don't be afraid! Superheroes LOVE candy!" and that freeked him even more! It was hilarious seeing the kids enjoy the thrill of Halloween!
There was also one little girl (I think she was a bumblebee) who came up to the door and once John opened it real fast and the wave of noise hit her, she just froze! She was solid stiff and wouldn't move! So I made some more scary noises with the effects and she stayed right there but as she opened her sack to recieve the candy, she began shaking!!! So John gave her two pieces of candy...
Meanwhile, droves of kids came to our house as my kids were out trick and/or treating. We were out of our pile of candy in 38 minutes!!! The gang of our personal candy grubbers came back just as we were hanging a "No Candy Left" sign...
But what made it so much fun was seeing the joy on my kids' faces. My son just shoved candy into his mouth (he is a serious chocoholic- he starts crying for more candy as the piece he has hits his palate!) My daughter explained over and over how she would knock on the door, say "trick or treat" they would give her candy and she would say "thank you". Maybe it was just a sheer sugar rush, but she is exuberant towards life and living and she is just so precious!
(Yeah... I could have scared her!!!)
I suppose I was just enjoying the moment due to my acute pumpkin pie overdose?!?!! I am the Two-Time Champion!!!
*I won the Pumpkin Pie Eating Contest at work for the second year in a row!
*I got to scare the piss out of a bunch of kids (not mine)'
*My kids got to go trick-or-treating and had a ball
My 3 year old daughter dressed as a Princess AND played the role perfectly. Acting like the little princess she is... polite, courteous and absolutely thrilled to see other kids dressed up and having fun. The little girl is funny because she is completely not afraid of anything Halloweeny... She told me as the day was turning to dusk that "there would be many ghosts out tonight" and that she "is not afraid of ghosts or witches". She was watching the other kids in the neighborhood go out and she was exclaiming what they were all dressed as - "Look a Witch, Mommy! Oooh, dat one's a Pumpkin! Look, Daddy! Another Witch!!!"
My 14 month-old son earlier in the day FINALLY got his brain to click regarding this whole standing-walking perambulatory concept we all take for granted. He now "gets it" when ti comes to walking, so he'll berunnng before too long! He dressed up as a Super-baby with cape and all!
As my wife and a friend took the kids out trick or treating, I stayed at home to trick the treaters with help of my buddy John, who dressed as a Hick Farmer. He would answer the door in creepy manners and jump out at the youngsters while I peered through a window and using a microphone, some voice effects, some scary music/noise samples, a candy-laced hyper buzz and a 300 watt amplifier to scare the piss out of them!
Many kids were scared before they even got halfway up the drive! The music, noise and me bellowing "Mwuh-ha-ha!" really freeked them out! One kid inparticular was frightened so much he came up to the door by being pushed by his Mom. He was dressed as Superman so I bellowed "You're a Superhero! Don't be afraid! Superheroes LOVE candy!" and that freeked him even more! It was hilarious seeing the kids enjoy the thrill of Halloween!
There was also one little girl (I think she was a bumblebee) who came up to the door and once John opened it real fast and the wave of noise hit her, she just froze! She was solid stiff and wouldn't move! So I made some more scary noises with the effects and she stayed right there but as she opened her sack to recieve the candy, she began shaking!!! So John gave her two pieces of candy...
Meanwhile, droves of kids came to our house as my kids were out trick and/or treating. We were out of our pile of candy in 38 minutes!!! The gang of our personal candy grubbers came back just as we were hanging a "No Candy Left" sign...
But what made it so much fun was seeing the joy on my kids' faces. My son just shoved candy into his mouth (he is a serious chocoholic- he starts crying for more candy as the piece he has hits his palate!) My daughter explained over and over how she would knock on the door, say "trick or treat" they would give her candy and she would say "thank you". Maybe it was just a sheer sugar rush, but she is exuberant towards life and living and she is just so precious!
(Yeah... I could have scared her!!!)
I suppose I was just enjoying the moment due to my acute pumpkin pie overdose?!?!! I am the Two-Time Champion!!!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
The World Series and other Blablings
(Inhales) Yes, folks it's that time of year again!!! Fall is in the air and the Autumn classic is here again. An exciting and depressing time of year for many reasons:
-Exciting - it's the freeking World Series!!
-Depressing - these are the last baseball games until next year
-Exciting - My birthday comes every October and marks the conclusion of "Birthday Season" - aconglomerated celebration of all the family and friend's birthdays (from June to October) The big finale is today!!!
-Depressing - 11 months and 29 days til my next one (7 1/2 months 'til next birthday season)
-Exciting - even the wife and kids watch the World Series, so I don't have to watch a game alone
- Even MORE Exciting - The Yankees will be watching the series from the golf course again this year
-Depressing - FOX covers the Series again this year so Joe Suck and Tim McDipshit have to talk through the game. Since everyone and their Mama's Sister are watching, they super-dumb down everything that happens and superhype up every player's capabilities. They say things like "If he plays good in this series, it will REALLY help his team's chances" (Insightful)
- Exciting - Baseball, Football, Hockey are ALL in their regular season and Basketball is days away from starting
- Depressing - My hockey and football fantasy teams are in trouble and I forgot my basketball draft start time and was autodrafted for all but the last 2 picks.
- SUPER Depressing - I actually care about my fantasy teams?!?!?!?
- Exciting - the weather cools and the days are bee-you-tea-full! Time to get some yard work done!!!
- Depressing - Well, I live in Arizona, and I worked in the yard all day yesterday and am sunburned today.
- Exciting - Halloween is next week, the kids will have a ball!!
- Depressing - it's not even Halloween and the Christmas displays in the stores have been up over a month already!
Well, either way Fall (or as I call it here in Arizona "Spring II") is one of my 5 favorite seasons of the year!
-Exciting - it's the freeking World Series!!
-Depressing - these are the last baseball games until next year
-Exciting - My birthday comes every October and marks the conclusion of "Birthday Season" - aconglomerated celebration of all the family and friend's birthdays (from June to October) The big finale is today!!!
-Depressing - 11 months and 29 days til my next one (7 1/2 months 'til next birthday season)
-Exciting - even the wife and kids watch the World Series, so I don't have to watch a game alone
- Even MORE Exciting - The Yankees will be watching the series from the golf course again this year
-Depressing - FOX covers the Series again this year so Joe Suck and Tim McDipshit have to talk through the game. Since everyone and their Mama's Sister are watching, they super-dumb down everything that happens and superhype up every player's capabilities. They say things like "If he plays good in this series, it will REALLY help his team's chances" (Insightful)
- Exciting - Baseball, Football, Hockey are ALL in their regular season and Basketball is days away from starting
- Depressing - My hockey and football fantasy teams are in trouble and I forgot my basketball draft start time and was autodrafted for all but the last 2 picks.
- SUPER Depressing - I actually care about my fantasy teams?!?!?!?
- Exciting - the weather cools and the days are bee-you-tea-full! Time to get some yard work done!!!
- Depressing - Well, I live in Arizona, and I worked in the yard all day yesterday and am sunburned today.
- Exciting - Halloween is next week, the kids will have a ball!!
- Depressing - it's not even Halloween and the Christmas displays in the stores have been up over a month already!
Well, either way Fall (or as I call it here in Arizona "Spring II") is one of my 5 favorite seasons of the year!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Learn something new or forget something old?
"They" (yes, those bastards!) say 'you learn something new every day'...
I say - screw them (yes, those bastards!), forget something old every day!!!
Let that sink in a little bit...
I've lived life long enough to know most of the stuff that sounds like it doesn't make sense usually makes the MOST sense in the long run.
Forget something old today!
Make an effort to forget something old today. An old way of thinking, a routine of mediocrity or an outdated approach to living. Life is about adapting to change. EVERYTHING changes. If you stay the same, you fall behind.
Approach something old in a new way. Take a new route home, put your left pantleg on before your right tomorrow, scan through all the stations on the radio or TV without looking at the channel number and find something you like (probably on a station you would never suspect). It's the little things that make bigger things possible. Make a special effort to purposely do things in a new manner and see what happens...
Forget how to go through the same routine, after all where has it taken you so far? Forget how to follow the usual treaded paths, take YOUR OWN path. Forget how to think small, it's for small minded people, not YOU. Forget how to fear the path of success (the work, the effort, the risks). Forget how to fear achieving your dreams. Forget how to doubt your God-given abilities. Forget how to doubt your God.
What do you have left? Everything just becomes easier!!! Difficulties become Opportunities. Challenges open new paths to Experience. Mishaps become Blessings.
You're gonna learn stuff all the time. Do you think you've learned everything you know now in the absolute correct manner? Hell, No! You would be perfect if you did! Since the time you were born, you've been told how things are (or how they are to the people caring for you), how they're supposed to be (according to the people who 'care' about you) and how they always will be (by people who never tried any other way)... by a bunch of idiots that want nothing more than for you to be equally or more miserable than themselves.
People have spent most of your life building borders, boundaries and obstacles around you and your abilities. How many times have you been told that something you want to do or accomplish would be 'hard', 'impossible' or 'it takes a lot of luck'? F them all, go for what you want and get it RIGHT NOW!!! Otherwise, you'll be learning new things, every day in the same manner that got you where you are right now... Are you where you want to be?? (I mean in life, not about reading this blog)
Wake up! You're sleepwalking through life just like they want you to!!! Merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream, MY ASS!!!
You only are issued so many sunsets in your life; How many sunsets have you missed already?? Why keep spending so many of them the same old way? Learn something new today - Forget something OLD!!!
I say - screw them (yes, those bastards!), forget something old every day!!!
Let that sink in a little bit...
I've lived life long enough to know most of the stuff that sounds like it doesn't make sense usually makes the MOST sense in the long run.
Forget something old today!
Make an effort to forget something old today. An old way of thinking, a routine of mediocrity or an outdated approach to living. Life is about adapting to change. EVERYTHING changes. If you stay the same, you fall behind.
Approach something old in a new way. Take a new route home, put your left pantleg on before your right tomorrow, scan through all the stations on the radio or TV without looking at the channel number and find something you like (probably on a station you would never suspect). It's the little things that make bigger things possible. Make a special effort to purposely do things in a new manner and see what happens...
Forget how to go through the same routine, after all where has it taken you so far? Forget how to follow the usual treaded paths, take YOUR OWN path. Forget how to think small, it's for small minded people, not YOU. Forget how to fear the path of success (the work, the effort, the risks). Forget how to fear achieving your dreams. Forget how to doubt your God-given abilities. Forget how to doubt your God.
What do you have left? Everything just becomes easier!!! Difficulties become Opportunities. Challenges open new paths to Experience. Mishaps become Blessings.
You're gonna learn stuff all the time. Do you think you've learned everything you know now in the absolute correct manner? Hell, No! You would be perfect if you did! Since the time you were born, you've been told how things are (or how they are to the people caring for you), how they're supposed to be (according to the people who 'care' about you) and how they always will be (by people who never tried any other way)... by a bunch of idiots that want nothing more than for you to be equally or more miserable than themselves.
People have spent most of your life building borders, boundaries and obstacles around you and your abilities. How many times have you been told that something you want to do or accomplish would be 'hard', 'impossible' or 'it takes a lot of luck'? F them all, go for what you want and get it RIGHT NOW!!! Otherwise, you'll be learning new things, every day in the same manner that got you where you are right now... Are you where you want to be?? (I mean in life, not about reading this blog)
Wake up! You're sleepwalking through life just like they want you to!!! Merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream, MY ASS!!!
You only are issued so many sunsets in your life; How many sunsets have you missed already?? Why keep spending so many of them the same old way? Learn something new today - Forget something OLD!!!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
3rd time is the charm...
You can’t read the whole thing if you don’t read page #3.
You can't eat the whole bag without eating handful #3
You can't walk a mile in another man's shoes without taking step #3
Imagine you are standing out in the middle of a desolate nowhere. Pick a point really far away; as far away as you can see. Far off in the horizon, is this point. Go ahead and name it. Describe it. Use your imagination to make it whatever you want, but it’s still way over there
To get there, you have to take steps; probably a whole lot of them. Each one is as important as the others. Without taking every step, you cannot take ALL of the steps. If you never take step one, you are not walking. If you stop at step 2, you are no longer walking. The point where everything IS and stops being COULD BE lies at the edge of the desolate nowhere. It’s two steps closer, but you’ve stopped without reaching the point.
And that’s the point. Get it? It’s the point. Way over there; far beyond the nothingness. You’re not there, but it is. Soon you will understand. You can’t go between the middle of a desolate nowhere to the point without a little imagination. You can’t get there without vision. You can’t get there without direction. And you’ll never find a way there without reason.
You can't make ALL of the steps happen if you skip step #3.
Write your goals down. Keep it simple. Pick less than ten short-term goals. What do you want to complete? What skill do you want learn? How do you want to get better? What do you want to accomplish in the next 6 months? Pick a point far away on the horizon.
Define your goals. What are they? Why do you want to achieve them? How can you achieve them? What are the necessary steps? Take a whole minute or two and write these goals down onto a small piece of paper. Keep the paper with you all day.
Occasionally, pull the paper out. Look at your goals. What are you doing today to keep stepping towards that point on the horizon? You don’t have to concentrate on these goals. The answers will find their way to you, so stop looking. Merely being aware of your defined goals is the key. Your subconscious will follow your consciousness like a willing servant.
Be aware. That’s step one. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Do you know? Can you define it? Can you feel it?
Be aware. By writing your goals, you have distinguished where you want to focus your life force. Your positive energy, your focus, your good will is all pointing in the same direction. How do I know? You have defined these things. You have thought about your life and times long enough already to name that point on the horizon. You know what you want, how do you get there?
You can't eat the whole bag without eating handful #3
You can't walk a mile in another man's shoes without taking step #3
Imagine you are standing out in the middle of a desolate nowhere. Pick a point really far away; as far away as you can see. Far off in the horizon, is this point. Go ahead and name it. Describe it. Use your imagination to make it whatever you want, but it’s still way over there
To get there, you have to take steps; probably a whole lot of them. Each one is as important as the others. Without taking every step, you cannot take ALL of the steps. If you never take step one, you are not walking. If you stop at step 2, you are no longer walking. The point where everything IS and stops being COULD BE lies at the edge of the desolate nowhere. It’s two steps closer, but you’ve stopped without reaching the point.
And that’s the point. Get it? It’s the point. Way over there; far beyond the nothingness. You’re not there, but it is. Soon you will understand. You can’t go between the middle of a desolate nowhere to the point without a little imagination. You can’t get there without vision. You can’t get there without direction. And you’ll never find a way there without reason.
You can't make ALL of the steps happen if you skip step #3.
Write your goals down. Keep it simple. Pick less than ten short-term goals. What do you want to complete? What skill do you want learn? How do you want to get better? What do you want to accomplish in the next 6 months? Pick a point far away on the horizon.
Define your goals. What are they? Why do you want to achieve them? How can you achieve them? What are the necessary steps? Take a whole minute or two and write these goals down onto a small piece of paper. Keep the paper with you all day.
Occasionally, pull the paper out. Look at your goals. What are you doing today to keep stepping towards that point on the horizon? You don’t have to concentrate on these goals. The answers will find their way to you, so stop looking. Merely being aware of your defined goals is the key. Your subconscious will follow your consciousness like a willing servant.
Be aware. That’s step one. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Do you know? Can you define it? Can you feel it?
Be aware. By writing your goals, you have distinguished where you want to focus your life force. Your positive energy, your focus, your good will is all pointing in the same direction. How do I know? You have defined these things. You have thought about your life and times long enough already to name that point on the horizon. You know what you want, how do you get there?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Return of the Madness is Inevitable! Prepare Yourself Semi-Adequately
Manny, Manny, Manny... what the hell is going on here???
Damn, I've been absent from my blog WAY too long! It's not for a lack of busy-ness. Let's see: Among other seemingly bad omens, bad breaks and bad metaphors; my computer crashed (Thank you, Microsoft; you foresight-less pricks!) and I lost EVERYTHING on it, had to rebuild 100%. That sucked. Kid's pictures - gone. Wedding pictures - gone. Vacation photos - gone, 11+ hours of home-recorded, remixed original music - gone!
If it wasn't for me realizing that I am NOT like all the other kids in the stockbroker field/the soulless corporation I attend for my daily soul-conforming and realizing I am clearly NOT pursuing my creative dreams by educating stupid people on how to get richer than I can ever be answering telephone calls, I would be depressed... Oh yeah, my wife quit her job last week for all the right reasons - I AM proud of her for having steadfast morals, and keeping proper priorities in life... (anyone need a personal trainer???) I just wish we could have crafted a wily lawsuit out of it first.
You know, kids get hungry (Eff you, Latrell Sprewell), bills need paid regularly and shoes get outgrown - my size 15's particularly! Let's see... American dream? check. Mortgage through the nostrils? check. Credit card bills through the wazoo? check. Ahhh, credit is overrated! You can't take it with you, right?? So a little struggle now build character; afterall, we'll LAUGH about this years from now (hope I get a sweet cellmate in debtor's prison - "that broke ass is MINE, bitch!")
But for every obstacle that seems like a slime covered rock in the pond of life, there is always the blessing side where all the goodies lie in wait... mmm, tasty invertabrates. Another bad analogy since two of my aquarium inhabitants; a red-claw crab and a green spotted puffer (red and green, yeah! more metaphors), have gone to the big lake in the sky. (I've been busy practicing my pet funeral ceremonies, for sure!). Of course my 3 year-old daughter keeps asking where "Mr. Krabs" and "Mrs. Puff" went to... (hey, I named them; I'm a SpongeBob fan too).
Anyway, half-full or half-empty, it's STILL just a freeking glass. Come to think about it, a half-empty glass of scotch would be a very good thing right now.
I've chosen to see the blessings in life.
- I didn't lose my kids, my wife or my memories just the pictures of them. I have about 20% backed up, mostly the better ones.
- Wouldn't be so bad if my digital camera wasn't as broke as I am! Meanwhile a Wolbouti tribesman would trade me 50 ebola-ridden acres of his inheritance for the shiny trinket even if it is worthless to me at this point. I guess it's not so bad.
- I didn't lose 11 hours of homemade music, I gained the opportunity to make those songs better! Or forget them altogether - I hang onto too manny things as it is! OK, GOD, lesson learned... thanks!
- Since I realized my employer doesn't want to utilize my creativity, I no longer care for my employer, I have felt a burden lifted from my being. I have stayed there through 9 years of fear. Stupid fear. "What will I do?" fear. That's not me... 9 years is NOT me. As with all things, getting fired WOULD be a blessing! What would I do? What I always do... figure it out, of course. Times can be tough, as long as I'm alive, I'll be tougher... eff it, that's why!
In the meantime, I bide my time, enjoy the meager benefits that I provide for my family and I stop waiting for opportunity to ride in on a shiny white horse. I am going horse hunting, donkey slaying, goat wrestling if I have to. The time has come not only to take a shot, but to fill the sky with shots in every direction. No opportunity will be laughed off, excused away or taken as unworthy. Everything is opportunity to me now, and opportunity is everything.
- I didn't lose 2 colorful pets, I gained the ability to enjoy the rest of my gilled friends even more; to be honest - the puffer was an a$$hole to all the other creatures (liked to eat my fancy shrimp and snails) and the crab was just plain dumb (even for a crab, DUMB)
- my wife can now begin chasing her dreams as she's no longer tied down to a corporate fustercluck (ANYone need a personal trainer? She can send you workout seesions via e-mail!) . Not only do I have your back sweetie, but I'm right behind you!!!
- more importantly I decided it IS TIME to chase my dreams:
I will write with a passion never before emitted from the Stilesmaster.
I am currently actively pursuing a literary agent I can semi-trust/mesh with to FINALLY get to the task of pushing my more complex story ideas from my brain onto a paycheck. Those 'movie ideas' I've been fermenting might as well be books first at this rate... what have I been waiting for anyway?
Well, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - I still crank 'em out on ArmchairGM.com.
So prepare for the Madness all eight of my loyal readers (that's me, 2 others and all of our 'other' schizophrenic personalities), The time is upon us to open up the windows and clear this stale air out!
Join me in the battle. Take every opportunity to make everything opportunity. Seize, beseige and rampage against the things you do that you "don't do". Be you, don't be what they want you to be...that's what they want. What do you want?
Go get it!
Damn, I've been absent from my blog WAY too long! It's not for a lack of busy-ness. Let's see: Among other seemingly bad omens, bad breaks and bad metaphors; my computer crashed (Thank you, Microsoft; you foresight-less pricks!) and I lost EVERYTHING on it, had to rebuild 100%. That sucked. Kid's pictures - gone. Wedding pictures - gone. Vacation photos - gone, 11+ hours of home-recorded, remixed original music - gone!
If it wasn't for me realizing that I am NOT like all the other kids in the stockbroker field/the soulless corporation I attend for my daily soul-conforming and realizing I am clearly NOT pursuing my creative dreams by educating stupid people on how to get richer than I can ever be answering telephone calls, I would be depressed... Oh yeah, my wife quit her job last week for all the right reasons - I AM proud of her for having steadfast morals, and keeping proper priorities in life... (anyone need a personal trainer???) I just wish we could have crafted a wily lawsuit out of it first.
You know, kids get hungry (Eff you, Latrell Sprewell), bills need paid regularly and shoes get outgrown - my size 15's particularly! Let's see... American dream? check. Mortgage through the nostrils? check. Credit card bills through the wazoo? check. Ahhh, credit is overrated! You can't take it with you, right?? So a little struggle now build character; afterall, we'll LAUGH about this years from now (hope I get a sweet cellmate in debtor's prison - "that broke ass is MINE, bitch!")
But for every obstacle that seems like a slime covered rock in the pond of life, there is always the blessing side where all the goodies lie in wait... mmm, tasty invertabrates. Another bad analogy since two of my aquarium inhabitants; a red-claw crab and a green spotted puffer (red and green, yeah! more metaphors), have gone to the big lake in the sky. (I've been busy practicing my pet funeral ceremonies, for sure!). Of course my 3 year-old daughter keeps asking where "Mr. Krabs" and "Mrs. Puff" went to... (hey, I named them; I'm a SpongeBob fan too).
Anyway, half-full or half-empty, it's STILL just a freeking glass. Come to think about it, a half-empty glass of scotch would be a very good thing right now.
I've chosen to see the blessings in life.
- I didn't lose my kids, my wife or my memories just the pictures of them. I have about 20% backed up, mostly the better ones.
- Wouldn't be so bad if my digital camera wasn't as broke as I am! Meanwhile a Wolbouti tribesman would trade me 50 ebola-ridden acres of his inheritance for the shiny trinket even if it is worthless to me at this point. I guess it's not so bad.
- I didn't lose 11 hours of homemade music, I gained the opportunity to make those songs better! Or forget them altogether - I hang onto too manny things as it is! OK, GOD, lesson learned... thanks!
- Since I realized my employer doesn't want to utilize my creativity, I no longer care for my employer, I have felt a burden lifted from my being. I have stayed there through 9 years of fear. Stupid fear. "What will I do?" fear. That's not me... 9 years is NOT me. As with all things, getting fired WOULD be a blessing! What would I do? What I always do... figure it out, of course. Times can be tough, as long as I'm alive, I'll be tougher... eff it, that's why!
In the meantime, I bide my time, enjoy the meager benefits that I provide for my family and I stop waiting for opportunity to ride in on a shiny white horse. I am going horse hunting, donkey slaying, goat wrestling if I have to. The time has come not only to take a shot, but to fill the sky with shots in every direction. No opportunity will be laughed off, excused away or taken as unworthy. Everything is opportunity to me now, and opportunity is everything.
- I didn't lose 2 colorful pets, I gained the ability to enjoy the rest of my gilled friends even more; to be honest - the puffer was an a$$hole to all the other creatures (liked to eat my fancy shrimp and snails) and the crab was just plain dumb (even for a crab, DUMB)
- my wife can now begin chasing her dreams as she's no longer tied down to a corporate fustercluck (ANYone need a personal trainer? She can send you workout seesions via e-mail!) . Not only do I have your back sweetie, but I'm right behind you!!!
- more importantly I decided it IS TIME to chase my dreams:
I will write with a passion never before emitted from the Stilesmaster.
I am currently actively pursuing a literary agent I can semi-trust/mesh with to FINALLY get to the task of pushing my more complex story ideas from my brain onto a paycheck. Those 'movie ideas' I've been fermenting might as well be books first at this rate... what have I been waiting for anyway?
Well, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - I still crank 'em out on ArmchairGM.com.
So prepare for the Madness all eight of my loyal readers (that's me, 2 others and all of our 'other' schizophrenic personalities), The time is upon us to open up the windows and clear this stale air out!
Join me in the battle. Take every opportunity to make everything opportunity. Seize, beseige and rampage against the things you do that you "don't do". Be you, don't be what they want you to be...that's what they want. What do you want?
Go get it!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
"The People Ratio" as defined by Manny Stiles
I've come to the general conclusion
that there are FOUR Basic kinds of people in any given circumstance:
30%- people whose main purpose is to ensure that nothing gets done or accomplished at all
30%- people whose main purpose is to ensure that nothing gets done or accomplished correctly
30%- people whose main purpose is not defined by a purpose
10%- everyone else
Again, this is accurate to a group of people in any given circumstance. Any one person could theoretically be in any of the four divisions under separate and differing circumstances. There are some people that maintain their presence in the same division under any circumstance.
Remember - even if you truly are 'one in a million', then there are over 6,000 people just like you on the planet...
that there are FOUR Basic kinds of people in any given circumstance:30%- people whose main purpose is to ensure that nothing gets done or accomplished at all
30%- people whose main purpose is to ensure that nothing gets done or accomplished correctly
30%- people whose main purpose is not defined by a purpose
10%- everyone else
Again, this is accurate to a group of people in any given circumstance. Any one person could theoretically be in any of the four divisions under separate and differing circumstances. There are some people that maintain their presence in the same division under any circumstance.
Remember - even if you truly are 'one in a million', then there are over 6,000 people just like you on the planet...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Ban Manny Stiles from ALL things credible!
BAN Manny
Stiles
from
ALL
things
Credible
!!!
print one out on iron-on paper and you can make your own cheap fake, crappy replica. OR send me $12 and I'll make one in your size and send it to you OR wait until I get these up on EBay...
Thursday, June 22, 2006
My Exclusive Interview with George Washington
Yes, he's the 'Father of Our Country'. Yes he's 'dead', but that would never stop a great interviewer like myself.
I won't go into the specific details on how one meets with and interviews dead people (nor will I explain how I used my flux capacitor without the aid of lightning). All you need to know is Mr. Washington is probably MORE busy as a dead guy than he was as our first President. His publicist is a handful, as well... anyway -
Setting - In a misty realm where dead and living are neither, but beings be and material things are irrelevant, I meet with Mr Washington, who seems thrilled at the opportunity to communicate with an American from the time of now...
Manny Stiles - Thank you for meeting with me, Mr Washington. It is an honor and a thrill to interview such an amazing and important figure in the world's history.
George Washington - Please, please...call me George. Up in heaven, there's no need for using 'Mister', so I've grown accustomed.
MS - Thanks George! Can I call you 'G' to add a little 21st century twist?
GW- They call your current President 'W', so sure...why not?
MS - Thanks, G! You know the 'W' is for Washington...Right off the bat, you brought up an interesting point, and I didn't even think to ask you this, but I will...WHAT... is heaven like?
GW - Manny, mind if I call you 'M'?
MS - G, YOU can call me whatever you want!
GW - IF I were to tell you what heaven is like, you would die instantly from such knowledge. As a living being, you are not to know these things until you ARE to know these things. However, I will tell you Dick Nixon is a party animal there, Genghis Khan is a voice of reason and Adolf Hitler has become one heck of a ping-pong player.
MS - Wait, wait, wait, wait, G... Richard Nixon is in Heaven???
GW - Again, the things of Heaven and Hell aren't for mere human understanding... Let me just put it this way... deathbed repentances happen MORE than you think! I tried to warn John Adams, but he was too busy trying to outlive Thomas Jefferson. Now Adams is in Hell, forced to listen to a choir of Popes sing 'Muppets' songs with Jim Henson.
MS - Wow...that IS Hell...I guess I'll move on to the interview I had intended... let me gather my thoughts for a moment...ok. Let's get right at it...
Being that you are America's first President, what is your impression of America today?
GW - Let us clarify one thing. It is the UNITED States of America. United was the key from the beginning. We did all of it together, or it would have never come to be. Sure there was infighting and squabbles, they even tried to remove me from the militia on several occasions, but we came together for a common cause and we all pulled the rope together in the same direction. I don't see that today. It seems everyone is pulling in their own direction and not for the common good of all. Calling it America takes away from what it was intended to be. The whole continent is America, but only the States that were United could accomplish such great things.
MS - Does it concern you that people today have little or no concept about how this country came to be?
GW - No, with all of today's worries, 'What's on my iPod?', 'what celebrity was arrested for what', 'which brand name is coolest' - OF COURSE it concerns me, but realistically, I don't care. I'm dead and have other concerns now... like the upcoming soccer matches of the guardian angels or preparing for the impending apocalypse next year.
MS - Oooooh Kaaaay... angels playing soccer, apocalypse...
GW - I was kidding about that... angels don't play soccer.
MS - That's a relief, I guess...next question... Tell me something about yourself that the history books have taught us that is all wrong.
GW - Too many things! I was not a great man, hell, I wasn't even a good General, I was a surveyor who was thrust into scuffles over land rights. But for that time, I was a big man physically, so I commanded some respect. But Manny, you're a GIANT compared to me! What are you? Six feet, five?
MS - Six foot six, G. Get it right!
GW - I would have made you into a General in the Continental Army, absolutely!
Basically, I was just a regular guy with a POWERFUL wife. Martha deserves all of the credit. When I was down, she lifted me up, what a fantastic broad!
I was good at delegating to the experts. I surrounded myself with excellent characters and wise, sharp minds. I had Baron von Steuben train my men at Valley Forge, Alexander Hamilton design the financial structures, John Jay was my law specialist and Jefferson and Adams wrote up the important documents -I was not as schooled as my brothers and was never a good speller. But these men were brilliant, I was just barely smart enough to let them do the important work.
Also, I didn't chop down any stupid cherry trees, the French and Indian wars were somewhat MY fault... I was a Whig but I didn't wear a wig.
I did own slaves, but I didn't treat them like slaves; I kept families together and treated my people well. They were more or less full-time workers who lived on my properties. Many of my slaves also volunteered for the Militias and served well.
Furthermore, I didn't have wooden teeth and I look WAY too old on the Quarter & One Dollar bill. And my nose wasn't that big -By the way, I think Ben Franklin should be on the One Dollar and I should be on the Hundred... Ben was a cheap womanizer. Having Franklin on a One Dollar would be more fitting, if you know what I mean.
MS - And that brings up another thing. What was it like in Philadelphia in 1776? Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock; all of these great patriots gathering together...
GW- Stop right there... Our intention wasn't to do great things for the ages. It was to set things right for US first, the rest of the colonies second. Most of the men who 'signed' the Declaration weren't even there...and it wasn't printed until almost a year later. Hell, it wasn't even the FIRST declaration! The Magna Carta wasn't the blueprint for our document, the Declaration of Arbroath and the Virginia Declaration of Rights were...but so was the Mecklenburg Declaration. Some guys in Mecklenburg County (Now in North Carolina) declared Independence from England over a year before we even met in Philadelphia. But our's pissed off the King a little more.
But Philadelphia in 1776 was crazy! Most people didn't care about the British OR the Continental Armies, as long as they were left alone. Philadelphia was party central, Ben Franklin was Grand Marshall and the babes were showing ankle everywhere.
MS - Who would have thunk it?
GW - Look, Manny... I mean, M. The good stuff doesn't get written down and put into history books. Why? We were too busy having the fun to write it all down! There was a LOT of drinking going on in 1776. I was quite a whiskey maker and Franklin could brew up some great mead, even in his latter days. After my days as President, all I did at Mount Vernon was grow hemp and make whiskey.
MS - Times were different then, huh?
GW - I don't mean to get all "you kids nowadays" on you, but... The United States were founded on simple concepts. We didn't want somebody in our business all of the time. The King of England didn't need to know our business from across an ocean and DEFINITELY didn't need to skim our profits without us having a say. Now, that's exactly what the present government has become. I realize things are different, times are different and innovations have made many new things possible. But really; Are PEOPLE different? As people we all have rights, hopes, dreams; we use our efforts to better our lives, for our families and the generations to follow. We did NOT intend for our governing bodies to nose it's way into everything. You have WAY too many laws today. Every law you add makes a whole new set of problems. We ran into that early on. I was almost overthrown as President until cooler heads prevailed. Governments need to Govern, not RULE.
MS - Excellent point, G! Maybe that's why you are considered one of the best Presidents ever.
GW - Again, I was NOT a great man. I merely did what I HAD to do. Politicians today do what's best for their agenda. They no longer do what they HAVE to do. Of course, I was never a politician. I delegated my authority to the people who could accomplish the best results. Serving your country, your constituents and your people is a duty, an honor. Not a social accomplishment or next rung of celebrity status.
MS - You hit the nail on the head.
GW - Well, we never thought about a country reaching to the other ocean, either. We didn't even know how far that was. So the set of problems today ARE difficult, but the purpose of having the UNITED States was to have each state regulate itself and have a Federal government regulate the States. The Federal government was never intended to regulate the citizens. That's what England was doing to us!
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness can't happen if you are regulated away from that pursuit.
MS - How would you suggest we fix this now? How do we get back to what you guys were trying to do?
GW - Look, in the 1770's and '80's, we were fighting to free ourselves, not design an everlasting structure for governing. If things constantly change, why use antiquated methods for modern problems? The 'American' way is to identify a problem and promptly use all faculties available to adapt, overcome and MOVE ON with extraordinary results. Do things seem like that today?
No man with common sense would put horseshoes on his motorized vehicle. Why would you regulate internet business with laws that were intended for tobacco farmers?
I am not the smartest man, but maybe it's time to take a look at all of it and start over.
Our freedom has been established, now let's move forward. Get politicians OUT of governing. The right thing to do is going to offend some people some time. It has to!
You can't flip-flop or do what's best for all when you have your personal or financial interests at stake. Delegate the powers to the people with most skill, intelligence and morality. Empower the people first, the governing bodies second. That's what the Bill of Rights was intended to do.
MS - Wow, that's a lot to take in. How do you keep up with all of the changes in society?
GW - There's some pretty good coverage up there in Heaven. Hey, that Scarlett Johansson is quite a babe!
MS - Exactly. One last question I had prepared: What is your opinion of our 'National Anthem'? There's been some people who suggest the words are outdated and the tune is too long. What do you think?
GW - I love 'The Star Spangled Banner' for military events, the Olympics or any NATIONAL event; but for everyday use such as baseball games or parades, I really like that song "We Will Rock You" by those strange British boys...who were they? The Queens?
It is so much simpler, people can stomp and clap along or even chant "U.S.A.!, U.S.A.!". It would certainly spread national pride and offers a more accurate description the United States...
MS - Very good choice, G! I do want to thank you for this enlightening perspective and interview. You are honored as a treasure for the right reasons. I definitely appreciated your time and enjoyed every moment of your presence.
GW - Thank you, it was my pleasure! Tell Scarlett I said 'hello!'.
MS - I'll try my best. Tell Martha and Jimi Hendrix I said 'Hi!'...catch ya later, G!
GW - See ya next year, Manny!
MS - Whaaaa?
And then **POOF** - into the mist he returned. I wanted to stay and and converse more with him.
What was his opinion on George W Bush, Terrorism, Steroids in Pro Sports, Immigration, Iraq, Abortion, Modern Inventions and Travel or the U.S. sucking in the World Cup? Oh well! Maybe we'll cross paths again soon...
I won't go into the specific details on how one meets with and interviews dead people (nor will I explain how I used my flux capacitor without the aid of lightning). All you need to know is Mr. Washington is probably MORE busy as a dead guy than he was as our first President. His publicist is a handful, as well... anyway -
Setting - In a misty realm where dead and living are neither, but beings be and material things are irrelevant, I meet with Mr Washington, who seems thrilled at the opportunity to communicate with an American from the time of now...
Manny Stiles - Thank you for meeting with me, Mr Washington. It is an honor and a thrill to interview such an amazing and important figure in the world's history.
George Washington - Please, please...call me George. Up in heaven, there's no need for using 'Mister', so I've grown accustomed.
MS - Thanks George! Can I call you 'G' to add a little 21st century twist?
GW- They call your current President 'W', so sure...why not?
MS - Thanks, G! You know the 'W' is for Washington...Right off the bat, you brought up an interesting point, and I didn't even think to ask you this, but I will...WHAT... is heaven like?
GW - Manny, mind if I call you 'M'?
MS - G, YOU can call me whatever you want!
GW - IF I were to tell you what heaven is like, you would die instantly from such knowledge. As a living being, you are not to know these things until you ARE to know these things. However, I will tell you Dick Nixon is a party animal there, Genghis Khan is a voice of reason and Adolf Hitler has become one heck of a ping-pong player.
MS - Wait, wait, wait, wait, G... Richard Nixon is in Heaven???
GW - Again, the things of Heaven and Hell aren't for mere human understanding... Let me just put it this way... deathbed repentances happen MORE than you think! I tried to warn John Adams, but he was too busy trying to outlive Thomas Jefferson. Now Adams is in Hell, forced to listen to a choir of Popes sing 'Muppets' songs with Jim Henson.
MS - Wow...that IS Hell...I guess I'll move on to the interview I had intended... let me gather my thoughts for a moment...ok. Let's get right at it...
Being that you are America's first President, what is your impression of America today?
GW - Let us clarify one thing. It is the UNITED States of America. United was the key from the beginning. We did all of it together, or it would have never come to be. Sure there was infighting and squabbles, they even tried to remove me from the militia on several occasions, but we came together for a common cause and we all pulled the rope together in the same direction. I don't see that today. It seems everyone is pulling in their own direction and not for the common good of all. Calling it America takes away from what it was intended to be. The whole continent is America, but only the States that were United could accomplish such great things.
MS - Does it concern you that people today have little or no concept about how this country came to be?
GW - No, with all of today's worries, 'What's on my iPod?', 'what celebrity was arrested for what', 'which brand name is coolest' - OF COURSE it concerns me, but realistically, I don't care. I'm dead and have other concerns now... like the upcoming soccer matches of the guardian angels or preparing for the impending apocalypse next year.
MS - Oooooh Kaaaay... angels playing soccer, apocalypse...
GW - I was kidding about that... angels don't play soccer.
MS - That's a relief, I guess...next question... Tell me something about yourself that the history books have taught us that is all wrong.
GW - Too many things! I was not a great man, hell, I wasn't even a good General, I was a surveyor who was thrust into scuffles over land rights. But for that time, I was a big man physically, so I commanded some respect. But Manny, you're a GIANT compared to me! What are you? Six feet, five?
MS - Six foot six, G. Get it right!
GW - I would have made you into a General in the Continental Army, absolutely!
Basically, I was just a regular guy with a POWERFUL wife. Martha deserves all of the credit. When I was down, she lifted me up, what a fantastic broad!
I was good at delegating to the experts. I surrounded myself with excellent characters and wise, sharp minds. I had Baron von Steuben train my men at Valley Forge, Alexander Hamilton design the financial structures, John Jay was my law specialist and Jefferson and Adams wrote up the important documents -I was not as schooled as my brothers and was never a good speller. But these men were brilliant, I was just barely smart enough to let them do the important work.
Also, I didn't chop down any stupid cherry trees, the French and Indian wars were somewhat MY fault... I was a Whig but I didn't wear a wig.
I did own slaves, but I didn't treat them like slaves; I kept families together and treated my people well. They were more or less full-time workers who lived on my properties. Many of my slaves also volunteered for the Militias and served well.
Furthermore, I didn't have wooden teeth and I look WAY too old on the Quarter & One Dollar bill. And my nose wasn't that big -By the way, I think Ben Franklin should be on the One Dollar and I should be on the Hundred... Ben was a cheap womanizer. Having Franklin on a One Dollar would be more fitting, if you know what I mean.
MS - And that brings up another thing. What was it like in Philadelphia in 1776? Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock; all of these great patriots gathering together...
GW- Stop right there... Our intention wasn't to do great things for the ages. It was to set things right for US first, the rest of the colonies second. Most of the men who 'signed' the Declaration weren't even there...and it wasn't printed until almost a year later. Hell, it wasn't even the FIRST declaration! The Magna Carta wasn't the blueprint for our document, the Declaration of Arbroath and the Virginia Declaration of Rights were...but so was the Mecklenburg Declaration. Some guys in Mecklenburg County (Now in North Carolina) declared Independence from England over a year before we even met in Philadelphia. But our's pissed off the King a little more.
But Philadelphia in 1776 was crazy! Most people didn't care about the British OR the Continental Armies, as long as they were left alone. Philadelphia was party central, Ben Franklin was Grand Marshall and the babes were showing ankle everywhere.
MS - Who would have thunk it?
GW - Look, Manny... I mean, M. The good stuff doesn't get written down and put into history books. Why? We were too busy having the fun to write it all down! There was a LOT of drinking going on in 1776. I was quite a whiskey maker and Franklin could brew up some great mead, even in his latter days. After my days as President, all I did at Mount Vernon was grow hemp and make whiskey.
MS - Times were different then, huh?
GW - I don't mean to get all "you kids nowadays" on you, but... The United States were founded on simple concepts. We didn't want somebody in our business all of the time. The King of England didn't need to know our business from across an ocean and DEFINITELY didn't need to skim our profits without us having a say. Now, that's exactly what the present government has become. I realize things are different, times are different and innovations have made many new things possible. But really; Are PEOPLE different? As people we all have rights, hopes, dreams; we use our efforts to better our lives, for our families and the generations to follow. We did NOT intend for our governing bodies to nose it's way into everything. You have WAY too many laws today. Every law you add makes a whole new set of problems. We ran into that early on. I was almost overthrown as President until cooler heads prevailed. Governments need to Govern, not RULE.
MS - Excellent point, G! Maybe that's why you are considered one of the best Presidents ever.
GW - Again, I was NOT a great man. I merely did what I HAD to do. Politicians today do what's best for their agenda. They no longer do what they HAVE to do. Of course, I was never a politician. I delegated my authority to the people who could accomplish the best results. Serving your country, your constituents and your people is a duty, an honor. Not a social accomplishment or next rung of celebrity status.
MS - You hit the nail on the head.
GW - Well, we never thought about a country reaching to the other ocean, either. We didn't even know how far that was. So the set of problems today ARE difficult, but the purpose of having the UNITED States was to have each state regulate itself and have a Federal government regulate the States. The Federal government was never intended to regulate the citizens. That's what England was doing to us!
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness can't happen if you are regulated away from that pursuit.
MS - How would you suggest we fix this now? How do we get back to what you guys were trying to do?
GW - Look, in the 1770's and '80's, we were fighting to free ourselves, not design an everlasting structure for governing. If things constantly change, why use antiquated methods for modern problems? The 'American' way is to identify a problem and promptly use all faculties available to adapt, overcome and MOVE ON with extraordinary results. Do things seem like that today?
No man with common sense would put horseshoes on his motorized vehicle. Why would you regulate internet business with laws that were intended for tobacco farmers?
I am not the smartest man, but maybe it's time to take a look at all of it and start over.
Our freedom has been established, now let's move forward. Get politicians OUT of governing. The right thing to do is going to offend some people some time. It has to!
You can't flip-flop or do what's best for all when you have your personal or financial interests at stake. Delegate the powers to the people with most skill, intelligence and morality. Empower the people first, the governing bodies second. That's what the Bill of Rights was intended to do.
MS - Wow, that's a lot to take in. How do you keep up with all of the changes in society?
GW - There's some pretty good coverage up there in Heaven. Hey, that Scarlett Johansson is quite a babe!
MS - Exactly. One last question I had prepared: What is your opinion of our 'National Anthem'? There's been some people who suggest the words are outdated and the tune is too long. What do you think?
GW - I love 'The Star Spangled Banner' for military events, the Olympics or any NATIONAL event; but for everyday use such as baseball games or parades, I really like that song "We Will Rock You" by those strange British boys...who were they? The Queens?
It is so much simpler, people can stomp and clap along or even chant "U.S.A.!, U.S.A.!". It would certainly spread national pride and offers a more accurate description the United States...
MS - Very good choice, G! I do want to thank you for this enlightening perspective and interview. You are honored as a treasure for the right reasons. I definitely appreciated your time and enjoyed every moment of your presence.
GW - Thank you, it was my pleasure! Tell Scarlett I said 'hello!'.
MS - I'll try my best. Tell Martha and Jimi Hendrix I said 'Hi!'...catch ya later, G!
GW - See ya next year, Manny!
MS - Whaaaa?
And then **POOF** - into the mist he returned. I wanted to stay and and converse more with him.
What was his opinion on George W Bush, Terrorism, Steroids in Pro Sports, Immigration, Iraq, Abortion, Modern Inventions and Travel or the U.S. sucking in the World Cup? Oh well! Maybe we'll cross paths again soon...
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Happy Father's Day
Few things will make you feel tearful joy like your 3 year-old daughter singing/shreiking to a death metal version of "Happy Father's Day"... indeed, one of the HAPPIEST moments of my life... Raw, unadulterated human fierceness with a zeal of screaming ONLY a 3 year-old could produce...
Too bad the recording equipment wasn't hooked up... while I can re-capture the idea, the song, the special effects, and the participants (I was playing drums, John Funk on the bass), the energy/setting will be impossible to reproduce.
I have recorded my little sweetie many times before, so she is familiar and comfortable using a microphone (she has vocal credits on 2 songs from Manny Stiles' album "Who the F*** is Manny Stiles?") but she took it to another level on Sunday.
Even my nine-month old son was dancing along!!!
Needless to say, I am consistently amazed and very proud of my little vocalist. Maybe not every father would enjoy this type of display from their children, but I was thrilled! To me it was 'Best Father's Day Gift' yet!!! Rock on, little one!
Look for some type of version of "Happy Father's Day" to appear on the next forthcoming album "To Be Named Later" by Manny Stiles - Fall 2006
Too bad the recording equipment wasn't hooked up... while I can re-capture the idea, the song, the special effects, and the participants (I was playing drums, John Funk on the bass), the energy/setting will be impossible to reproduce.
I have recorded my little sweetie many times before, so she is familiar and comfortable using a microphone (she has vocal credits on 2 songs from Manny Stiles' album "Who the F*** is Manny Stiles?") but she took it to another level on Sunday.
Even my nine-month old son was dancing along!!!
Needless to say, I am consistently amazed and very proud of my little vocalist. Maybe not every father would enjoy this type of display from their children, but I was thrilled! To me it was 'Best Father's Day Gift' yet!!! Rock on, little one!
Look for some type of version of "Happy Father's Day" to appear on the next forthcoming album "To Be Named Later" by Manny Stiles - Fall 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Well, I tried...
Submission reviewed
Your submission has been reviewed by our editors.
Editors chose to NOT publish your submission.
kombol
noun. meaning very well hung,
Prize winning kielbasa in villages of Poland.
From science, the reproductive organs of male humpback whales are measured using the Kombol Comparison Method
"sure that salami is big, but it's no kombol"
"Porn star Clint Meatwood packs a kombol"
Source: Manny Stiles, Phoenix AZ
Your submission has been reviewed by our editors.
Editors chose to NOT publish your submission.
kombol
noun. meaning very well hung,
Prize winning kielbasa in villages of Poland.
From science, the reproductive organs of male humpback whales are measured using the Kombol Comparison Method
"sure that salami is big, but it's no kombol"
"Porn star Clint Meatwood packs a kombol"
Source: Manny Stiles, Phoenix AZ
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Listen here, freaks!!!
A few ponderments on a few 'hot topics' for those of you so inclined...
-Barry Bonds and baseball
*how many home runs did Babe Ruth hit on cocaine (for most of his career 'coke' was not only LEGAL, but commonplace)?
*Human Growth Hormone was first made synthetically in 1959. Please convince me that no professional athletes had access to HGH until the last few years?
*somehow, NO ONE is complaining that football players MIGHT be using HGH since there are no tests available with reasonable accuracy
-celebrities
*OK, am I the only one who noticed there are now more famous people than un-famous people (thank you MTV, American Idol and COPS)
*also, not one single celebrity has a valid opinion (except for me, Mike Tyson, Andy Dick, Magic Johnson, Paul Reubens, Brooke Shields and Rosie O'Donnell)
*I'll bet you know more about Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton, Chutney Spears and Tom Cruise than you know about most of your neighbors. You'll never MEET these 'stars' but your neighbors could blow up your block or murder your family in the middle of the night. Think about that as you're TiVoing Access Hollywood
- global warming
*what is it? 90% of the worlds population lives under 100 ft above sea level? Make an investment in the future. Buy real estate at 100 ft and above, then when the oceans rise, you'll have shorefront property (for a while)
*realistically, you'll be dead (as will Al Gore) before it really impacts you (but, since the world will end April 8th, 2018 why be concerned?)
*shipping costs will decrease since the Northwest Passage will open the Arctic Ocean for travel. Also seafood will get cheaper since warmer waters will lengthen the growing seasons. Everybody wins!
-who cares/etc.
*the new Batwoman is a lesbian - does this mean Batman & Robin can come out too?
*from CNN.com -today the FDA "approved a new vaccine to protect against cervical cancer in girls and women" which is great, but when will they fight cervical cancer in boys and men?
*Today is "Go kill a manatee day" since Florida's Wildlife Commission has delisted the manatee as a endangered species. Sea Cow burgers for everyone!
*Al Qaeda's leader is dead, that makes up for everything, right? Gee, now we'll have to kill his replacement. Then that guy's replacement and that guy's replacement until we finally dig up Osama's rotting corpse (who's really been dead for 4 years now...) then Al Qaeda will finally give up this thousands of years-old vendetta they have been holding onto.
*Immigration - ummm, did you know that almost every American's heritage comes from immigrants
*The Church of Scientology is sponsoring a NASCAR car. Yep.
-Barry Bonds and baseball
*how many home runs did Babe Ruth hit on cocaine (for most of his career 'coke' was not only LEGAL, but commonplace)?
*Human Growth Hormone was first made synthetically in 1959. Please convince me that no professional athletes had access to HGH until the last few years?
*somehow, NO ONE is complaining that football players MIGHT be using HGH since there are no tests available with reasonable accuracy
-celebrities
*OK, am I the only one who noticed there are now more famous people than un-famous people (thank you MTV, American Idol and COPS)
*also, not one single celebrity has a valid opinion (except for me, Mike Tyson, Andy Dick, Magic Johnson, Paul Reubens, Brooke Shields and Rosie O'Donnell)
*I'll bet you know more about Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton, Chutney Spears and Tom Cruise than you know about most of your neighbors. You'll never MEET these 'stars' but your neighbors could blow up your block or murder your family in the middle of the night. Think about that as you're TiVoing Access Hollywood
- global warming
*what is it? 90% of the worlds population lives under 100 ft above sea level? Make an investment in the future. Buy real estate at 100 ft and above, then when the oceans rise, you'll have shorefront property (for a while)
*realistically, you'll be dead (as will Al Gore) before it really impacts you (but, since the world will end April 8th, 2018 why be concerned?)
*shipping costs will decrease since the Northwest Passage will open the Arctic Ocean for travel. Also seafood will get cheaper since warmer waters will lengthen the growing seasons. Everybody wins!
-who cares/etc.
*the new Batwoman is a lesbian - does this mean Batman & Robin can come out too?
*from CNN.com -today the FDA "approved a new vaccine to protect against cervical cancer in girls and women" which is great, but when will they fight cervical cancer in boys and men?
*Today is "Go kill a manatee day" since Florida's Wildlife Commission has delisted the manatee as a endangered species. Sea Cow burgers for everyone!
*Al Qaeda's leader is dead, that makes up for everything, right? Gee, now we'll have to kill his replacement. Then that guy's replacement and that guy's replacement until we finally dig up Osama's rotting corpse (who's really been dead for 4 years now...) then Al Qaeda will finally give up this thousands of years-old vendetta they have been holding onto.
*Immigration - ummm, did you know that almost every American's heritage comes from immigrants
*The Church of Scientology is sponsoring a NASCAR car. Yep.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Noah Tall
If you know me, there's something very obvious about my physical being. If you've never met me, I'll tell you what it is... I am tall. I am six feet and six inches tall. To be more accurate, I am exactly two meters tall. 6'6" is tall enough to be tall, but not tall enough to be freaky TALL.
Either way, most likely I am taller than you. (If you ARE taller than me, I'll still dunk on you).
When I go anywhere there are crowds, I can see right over all of the heads.
Being tall is perceived as some sort of positive attribute. (...except for living in a world designed for 'regular' sized people) It is! Being tall enables me to decipher a person's intelligence just by meeting them!
Here's a few things a stupid person will say to a tall person upon meeting them... [my smart-assed responses in brackets]
"You're tall!" [you say exactly what you think, don't you?]
"If I was as tall as you, I'd..." [still be stupid]
"Have you always been tall?" [Yes, Mom went through 9 days of labor]
"How tall are you?" [I'm actually the world's smallest jumbo dwarf]
Why does uttering these phrases make you stupid?
Replace the word tall with any other obvious physical attribute and re-read those phrases... such as...mustached, big breasted, black and disabled for instance
"You're mustached!"
"If I was as big breasted as you, I'd..."
"Have you always been black?"
"How disabled are you?"
Suddenly, you're stupid AND an a$$hole! Can you see how stating the obvious is insulting to everyone except the idiot stating the obvious? [did I just state the obvious?]
Then again, these are the same people who get into car accidents while rubbernecking car accidents...
Try any attribute in place of tall and try those phrases... pigeon-toed, floppy-eared, drunk, box-shaped, Irish, smelly, naked, scarred, transexual, left-handed, balding, sick, pointy-nosed, elbowless, immature, bloody, mohawked, etc. You get the idea...
But for some reason, someone is always willing to remind me that I am indeed still tall [we're all the same height in bed] as if whacking my cranium on things all of those hundreds of times makes me forget... wait... does it?
The point is... I didn't get to choose to be tall. I had really, um... nothing to do about it... but I do choose not to be stupid [even if you're smarter than me, I'll still dunk on you], so thanks for telling me I'm tall!
Either way, most likely I am taller than you. (If you ARE taller than me, I'll still dunk on you).
When I go anywhere there are crowds, I can see right over all of the heads.
Being tall is perceived as some sort of positive attribute. (...except for living in a world designed for 'regular' sized people) It is! Being tall enables me to decipher a person's intelligence just by meeting them!
Here's a few things a stupid person will say to a tall person upon meeting them... [my smart-assed responses in brackets]
"You're tall!" [you say exactly what you think, don't you?]
"If I was as tall as you, I'd..." [still be stupid]
"Have you always been tall?" [Yes, Mom went through 9 days of labor]
"How tall are you?" [I'm actually the world's smallest jumbo dwarf]
Why does uttering these phrases make you stupid?
Replace the word tall with any other obvious physical attribute and re-read those phrases... such as...mustached, big breasted, black and disabled for instance
"You're mustached!"
"If I was as big breasted as you, I'd..."
"Have you always been black?"
"How disabled are you?"
Suddenly, you're stupid AND an a$$hole! Can you see how stating the obvious is insulting to everyone except the idiot stating the obvious? [did I just state the obvious?]
Then again, these are the same people who get into car accidents while rubbernecking car accidents...
Try any attribute in place of tall and try those phrases... pigeon-toed, floppy-eared, drunk, box-shaped, Irish, smelly, naked, scarred, transexual, left-handed, balding, sick, pointy-nosed, elbowless, immature, bloody, mohawked, etc. You get the idea...
But for some reason, someone is always willing to remind me that I am indeed still tall [we're all the same height in bed] as if whacking my cranium on things all of those hundreds of times makes me forget... wait... does it?
The point is... I didn't get to choose to be tall. I had really, um... nothing to do about it... but I do choose not to be stupid [even if you're smarter than me, I'll still dunk on you], so thanks for telling me I'm tall!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Who the F*** is Manny Stiles? - the Album
So.....What the hell have I been up to?
- putting the finishing touches on my newest studio album:
Manny Stiles - Who th F*** is Manny Stiles?
- putting the finishing touches on my newest studio album:
Manny Stiles - Who th F*** is Manny Stiles?
Just $7.00 Delivered!!!! $5 for the CD, $2 for shipping (No C.O.D's, allow 4-6 weeks for delivery)
PRE-ORDER YOURS NOW ---> mannystiles@aol.com
Available sometime!!! 29 tracks of Manny Stiles madness, arranged noise and other madness
Including such fabulous and dynamic tracks as: "How Many Stiles?", "Falling Rocks", "the Lottery", "the Lottery, too", "Little Mama Jojo", "Ian Rodgers is a Homo(sapien)[club mix]", "Ian Rodgers is a Homo(sapien)[acoustic mix]", "Haiku Sushi", "Insanity", "the City", "sample 7", "Superstitions", "Enjoy Free Resources", "Bobby" and Manny others
And don't try the whole "Erik, I've known you like forever! Let me get a CD for free..." (except you, Ian) because if I give it to you for free, you'll never listen to it. If you buy it, you'll listen to it and either a) hate it and hate me for making you pay for this heap of digital dung, or b) You'll listen to CD. Like parts of it, dislike other parts of it and each time you listen to it, you'll like it more...then some piece of it will stick, you'll 'get it' and realize that music can be/is deeper than you had assumed before, or finally c) you'll love it, memorize every song, you'll ask me to buy some other Manny Stiles albums; such as
Love Songs and Other Sh!t,
Prick Among Needles,
Man Eats Aisles,
When Then Was Now,
DLBCRYM (Don't Let Big Corporations Regulate Your Music),
Chemland: Dues Paid or Bust (featuring Jerm)
then you'll send me fanmail and weird, obsessive trinkets, then stalk me and come to my house to cook me fantastic desserts and sugary confections...
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