Adam dressed up as a crack baby for Halloween in 'Vegas last year

I wasn't there, but I've got pictures of pictures to prove it!!!

Bizzy to da Shizzie FoRizzy, Quizzy

I am going to Vegas in a couple of weeks, does anyone recommend anything?

It's been several years since I was last in Loss Vegas, when I birthed the idea behind a brilliant song in the process of being composed... "You Can't Go To Las Vegas For Three Days"... but I haven't had the opportunity to complete the ongoing project, so I am going for research purposes to freshen up the reasons that "You Can't Stay In Las Vegas For Three Days", or was it "You Can't Go To Loss Vegas 4-3 Days" and a voice saying '7-11, Craps'.... anyhoo, hopefully I won't end up sitting on a couch with no cushions in a crackhouse this time... since I'm taking the fam'... chances are I won't be in much of harm's way... To be fair, I'm a pretty big dude, so when I'm drunk.. I feel pretty invincible; but don't get me wrong... I know I'm not 'brick-proof'. But along story, shorter and less entertaining than being there...it's still one of the strangest experiences I have ever had -

Like all good stories... I was really drunk and hanging out with a guy I met at a bus stop. We started talking baseball... well, first of all, I never shut up...then to get me talking baseball, it's over!

So me and this dude...we'll call him Carlos, because that's what he told me his name was, we start walking down the Strip (I started the night on Fremont St and walked south, ditching my Mom in the process) and I met this dude around Stratosphere and kept walking south on the East sidewalks. Looked like a regular dude in town just looking for a party... so we talked baseball, drank beers at every casino and I bought a pack of cigarettes, and I shared them with my new friend... Carlos, whose Dad is a Dentist in Southern Cali... asked me questions about managing his 401k and IRA (I gave him NO ADVICE, if you were wondering...) we were getting personal tales of triumph and mischief, et cetera and so forth...

Well, we walked the whole Vegas Strip all the way down to Mandalay Bay and Back up, and we stop at every place we see, walk through, find a bar, get a drink, smoke a cigarette and go to the next casino. We don't gamble but we pay for drinks, it's called playing the "liquor slots" - you spend less than you would lose gambling, and ya get wasted and before ya know it you're out of cigarettes...

Well, we keep stumbling northbound and we come upon a convenience store...a white Kansas-looking girl in overalls comes over to Carlos and starts going all Tennesee (I was kinda close) surfer-drawl Spanish...he starts talking back to Her (we'll call her 'Her' since I forget her name) and suddenly is calling me a "cracker"!!! He's asking her if she thinks I'm a cracker!! Her starts calling me a cracker!!!
I'm like 'wait a minute', I thought to myself we were cool, we were buying each other drinks, we're out of smokes and he is calling me a 'cracker'? I don't understand what's going on... I'm intoxicated, unaware of my physical location and being verbally assaulted!!!
Carlos explains in a very simple manner that basically I "crack him up", that's why he "likes hanging out with" me and he says he was saying "crock-ah" (I don't know how it's spelled) which was he said was Spanish for crack??!!?!?!?
then you find out Carlos is a crackhead! I must be naive or totally stupid... longer story, shorter... Carlos bought the crack from Her, but Her didn't have anything to smoke the crack in...high comedy... around the corner is Her's friends... who conveniently DO have a pipe from which they could consume the 'rock' aka "crock-ah"... right there in the apartment right next to the convenient store...down a dimly lit alley...with a couch that had no cushions...
...as drunk as I was, this was not the place in the world I wanted to be... so I was gone... as I walked away... I could hear Carlos asking Her for some "other favors"... I walked back up to Fremont St...
Yeah, I met some interesting people on the way back... the smelly dancing homeless guy with the radio headphones... sure they were wet from your dance sweat and the music was unintelligible, you shared a song, you sure enjoyed that beer and that moment and so did I... you weren't so crazy, you had working batteries in that radio!!! But I wasn't so crazy, either! I sensed it was time to leave when you might have grasped the notion that I was so drunk that you COULD have bashed my skull that beer bottle and taken my wallet... but I was ready to go home anyway... I had more Vegas than I had wanted, I didn't gamble (any money), got as drunk-to-slightly drunker than I had intended, watched a guy go from Dodger Fan to Crackhead (what's the difference?) in a little over 3 miles and 20-odd casinos, walked the whole strip, and only spent about $45!!! (that includes cigarettes!! Everyone feels compelled to smoke there)

Point is... we left the next day and I got to visit California for the first time...in a VERY hung-over state...(punny) "You Can't Stay In Las Vegas For Three Days" was hatched... or as what I think Las Vegas' theme should REALLY be... "What Happens In Vegas... Never Happened".

Eventually you'll be back, some day... 3 weeks 'til
"Vegas, Baby!"

Manny Stiles' Recipe: World's Best Fire-Roasted Salsa

Yes, I said it! World's Best Fire Roasted Salsa!!!

Making this salsa is every bit as fun as eating it... It is an event when making this salsa, so clear your schedule out of a few hours and prepare to make a mess! It's worth the trouble and each time you make it, it gets better, but it's always good...This is FRESH Fire-Roasted Salsa, so it won't keep for long, it's actually best about 3 days after making it as the flavors intermingle.
I'm even gonna tell you some of the VERY secret ingredients!!!

Needless to say, this is not an easy recipe... I am what is known as a 'dump cook' as in 'dump a little of this in, and dump a little of that in...
This recipe has a difficulty of... let's say....9 out of 10 as there is a lot of making it to your "preference" - however, the fire-roasting is the KEY. Fire roast your salsa, no matter how you make it, people will LOVE it! Salsa LOVERS this is for YOU!!!! (try some on your morning eggs...mmmm)

This recipe makes a large BUNCH of salsa, sure to please many, many people... here we go;

List of essential tools:

- fire (gas, wood, etc... but it needs to have a clean, open flame - I use my gas stove)
- A six-pack of your favorite beer -lagers and darker beers work GREAT (get 2 sixers if you're up to it)
- a couple of bowls you can slop up
- a medium saucepan
- a blender
- tongs
- instruments of stirring
- a sharp pointy knife
- clean hands and a source of running water
- some large containers for mixing and storing the salsa
- a BIG bag of chips to enjoy your salsa (nacho chips work good too! try it!)

List of NECCESSARY ingredients:

- A whole freaking bunch of diced tomatoes ( I use about 6lbs of canned as it's too time consuming and expensive to use fresh - unless you have a garden full of tomaters)
- 4-5 Anaheim Peppers - (those thin curly green ones)
- 4-5 firm Tomatillos (absolutely key to great salsa)
- 2-3 Bell Peppers (red peppers if you like Red Salsa, Green or Yellow if you just don't care about color -they taste the same anyway)
- 2-5 garlic chunks (depends on your taste for garlic)
- one large white onion or two medium onions
- 2-5 jalepenos (more if you love jalepenos, 2 or less if you're a superwhimp -roasting will take some heat out and this is recipe can handle 4-5 jalepenos)
- a wad of cilantro
- a splash of olive oil (or safflower oil)
- a decent splash or two of white vinegar (NOT apple cider vinegar)
- a couple tablespoons of honey, yes - honey

Extra Special ingredients (these can be altered to taste - I use them all)

- more peppers (pasilla, banana, habenero, and those little teeny green ones - I can't remember what they're called, etc.)
- a couple of shots of a bourbon or whiskey (I prefer Wild Turkey - it's not too sweet; use Scotch if ya got nothing else)
- a shot or two of a fine tequila (optional, but a NICE addition, Patron is perfect)
- about 1/8 to 1/4 cup white wine
- one to one and a half fresh limes (not lime juice)
- various spices and seasonings= salt, black pepper, chili powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, paprika, etc
- fresh basil and fresh oregano is best
- several tablespoons to 1/2 cup of your favorite Bar-B-Q sauce - any flavor of your choice
- about a tablespoon or so of oyster or fish sauce (find it in the Chinese Food aisle - works great with so many recipes)
- a pinch to a dash to a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar
- a small bit to an irrational splash of "Dave's Insanity Sauce", "Endorphin Rush" or similar hot sauce for the brave idiots that want to test the limits


Now I'm sure you're thinking "That's a hell of alot of ingredients to make salsa" and ya know what? YOU'RE RIGHT!!! But we're not making salsa, we're taking 12 measly steps to make Manny Stiles' "World's Best Fire Roasted Salsa" - afterwards you may need to take an additional "12 steps"... you'll see why!

Step 1a: Put Peppers, Onions, Garlic, Tomatilloes in one bowl, then everything else off to the side
Step 1b: Open a beer, drink it casually

Step 2: Cut the onions in half, De-stem and De-seed and wash out the Anaheims and Bell Peppers (Jalepenos and little peppers don't need de-seeded unless you are really afraid it'll be too hot - it probably won't unless you go to the habeneros)

Step 3: Start your fire and get your tongs! Have a beer - fire and beer is just ahead of chocolate and peanut butter, if you ask me

Step 4a: While drinking your next beer, apply direct flame to all sides of the peppers (except the insides) until the the outsides are completely black. Don't burn the pepper, just the skin. Steps 4a through 4c usually takes a beer or two...
Step 4b: Cut your onion(s) in half and place right on the fire - burn the hell out of the outside, roasting the outer layer completely and using the tongs do the same to the garlic (roasted garlic is among the best scents on earth), then place in a bowl
Step 4c: place the blackened peppers, onions, and garlic in a bowl until you've fired them all and they've cooled enough to handle - then wash all of the burnt outsides and place in a clean bowl, set aside

Step 5a: Now it gets tricky - While you're fire-roasting the veggies, get your sauce pan and a beer. Drink voraciously...(the beer, not the saucepan)
Step 5b: Take a bit of BBQ sauce, some fish or oyster sauce, one roasted, washed and semi-chopped jalepeno pepper, a chunk of garlic (but not all of the garlic), a bit of the onion, salt and pepper, cayenne pepper, paprika, a few dashes of chili powder (but not the cilantro, basil or oregano) add the hotsauce of your preference and simmer in the saucepan
Step 5c: Once it's warm, pour some beer in it and simmer down a bit, then add the bourbon, brown sugar and honey to your preference and continue to stir and simmer at just under a boil.
Step 5d Once reduced and your house smells like bourbon and roasted garlic, mmmm... - add the wine and continue to reduce.
Step 5e: drink another beer - this is taking a while, huh? (I've had a few beers just writing the recipe and thinking about making salsa)
Step 5f: You should have a syrupy, thickened mess by now - add a few splashes of vinegar (enough to make it liquidy again and stir - turn the stove to low and keep warm)

Step 6: Now, you've already made a mess so it's time to drink another beer...

Step 7: By now, you're wondering... what about the tomatillos? They are important as they are full of pectin - a gelling agent that will make your salsa thicker and easier to scoop. Well, I hope you didn't peel the paperlike outer layer on 'em, but if you did... whatever... I just put 'em right in the flame until the outer skin burns off (it gets messy). The key is you have to roast 'em right in the skin (you don't need to burn these like the peppers) so the pectin gets warmed.
Step 7b: Cut the stem parts out - nobody likes to eat that. The next part takes skill, practice and/or luck - peel the skins off of the tomatillos and put them into the blender - it's ok to mash them up - you're gonna blend the hell out of them soon anyway

Step 8: Add the simmered mess from the saucepan to the blender with the tomatillos, add another splash of vinegar and enough diced tomatoes (with juice) to almost fill it and blend it into to a liquid. Add dry spices of your choice here - mesquite flavoring is nice...add more salt now if you need it, I usually don't. There's enough salt on the chips for me...
Step 8b: Add the cilantro, a shot or two of tequila (mmm...Patron!) fresh basil and oregano to the blender and chop while squeezing as much lime juice as you can into the mixture
Step 8c: Pour into your storage container

Step 9: Take the roasted onions and peppers and blend to consistency of your preference (chunky, smooth, etc.).
Step 9b: Drink another beer, we're almost done!
Step 9c: Add chopped pepper mixture to the other mixture created in step 8 and stir...

Step 10: Take the remaining diced tomatoes (I usually strain them a little bit) and either chop them in the blender to make smooth salsa, semi chop to make chunky salsa or just add the diced tomatoes to make 'chip-breaking chunky' salsa.
Step 10b: Add all ingredients together and stir vigorously!
Step 10c: Taste it.... if you're too drunk, have someone else taste it... add salt, PINCHES of garlic salt to enhance the garlic flavor or hot sauces to get it to taste the way you like...too salty? Let a potato sit in there overnight... too garlicky or oniony? add more tomatoes, or just deal with it... then put it in the fridge and forget about it until at least tomorrow (this is tough... once you taste test it, the addiction usually sets in QUICK)

Step 11: Have another beer, You've EARNED IT!!!

Step 12: Wake up the next day... have a couple aspirins and check your salsa... stir it as it has probably settled some... if it is too watery, strain it to your preference and enjoy!!!!

If you have leftovers, call me!!!

Another Written Rendition of a Manny Stiles song

Santan Mountains, AZ








Something About You-
Lyrics by M. Erik Kombol (1997)
Music/Vocals by Manny Stiles (2004)


What the hell is goin' on here?
It never should have been like this
I know it's a little... weird here
but that's not a reasonable excuse

And since when did your decisions come to count so much?

So I can't help but imagine
what it'd be like without you..
different I am sure
but why would I be any different?

You dumb motherblogger! Why am I even writing about you?

What the hell is goin' on here?
I never would have let this happen
and I feel a little too comfortable
for this to be, for this to be real

When did this become something about you?
Since when did your decisions come to count so much?
You dumb motherblogger! Why am I even singing about you?

The Manny Stiles "Hollywood Hat Theory"

[Read this in your best imaginary announcer voice]

COMING SUMMER 2006 ...

"A whole bunch of crap (slight pause) you shouldn't waste a second thinking about, (dramatic pause) but will be inundated to the point you will HAVE to drop some dough on (lengthy pause) just to eliminate the endless commercial onslaught (exaggerated pause) from your programmed mental process... it's (pause, then pause again) the HOTTEST (wait) MOVIE (wait for it) OF (here it is) THE SUMMER!!!"

From the producers of "We Wasted Your Time Last Summer", "Yeah, Two Gay Cowboys Will Get Their Attention" and "Let's Spend $100 Million Making A Plotless Pile of Crappy Explosions and Special Effects"... it's...

Movie! - the Movie

All of the critics agree! Here's proof:
"Two hours I will never get back" says Joe Critic - the Completely Made Up Times
"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?" exasperates Johnny Johnson - What Magazine
"One thumb way up my butt!!!" raves Thumbless Jimmy - Daily Spammer

OK. Pardon my length here (pun is both intended and unintended). A good story is always going to be a good story. And truth almost ALWAYS outperforms Fiction when it comes to attaining the GTFOOH (Get the *freak* out of here) factor. So most true stories make unbelievable movies. But there has to be a point where we have to ask... Why the blog are some of these movies even getting out of the "idea" phase?

Seriously though... how close would we be to curing all of the world's problems (hunger, disease, poverty, homelessness, illiteracy, spontaneous combustion, the hole in the ozone layer, etc.) if we took all of the money we have used to MAKE movies and put that cash to even semi-good use?

Hell, the $$$ spent on Waterworld, War of the Worlds (all versions) and Around the World in 80 days (all versions) alone could have been used in better ways to make this a much better world. (My opinion here- even if they didn't make those movies it would have been a better world)

We're talking HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of DOLLARS every YEAR just MAKING movies... that doesn't count the money spent by the masses seeing them, or the popcorn and milk dud industries. Don't get me started on the award shows, that's a whole other blog topic. Then there's all the critics and reviewers getting paid for what YOU pay to do...and how big is the "Worst Of" industry?? There are people making a living just picking the WORST movies and ranking them, giving them Razzies, etc.

And when I go to work... I can't have conversations about political, religious, social, sexual or even racial issues, but I can yap all day about "____name any movie here____" and it's widely accepted, encouraged and even added to. Where have you gone First Amendment?

WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

I'll tell you - we are willing, submissive victims of "The Hat"

Q. - What is "The Hat"?
A. - The Hollywood Hat Theory or "The Hat" as it shall be known moving downward is...wait a freakin' minute... let's build the suspense first...

Q. - What is "The Hat" made of?
A. - At best guess... it was originally wool. Then it was replaced by a cotton hat, then probably a polyester hat and then cashmere, of course... today it is either weaved cash, ruby-encrusted platinum or made up up Moon rocks, who knows?

Q. - Where is "The Hat"?
A. - "The Hat" sits in some undetermined (so far) location in Southern California - me thinks it's somewhere between Santa Monica and Malibu

Q. - What is "The Hat"?
A. - It is literally - a hat. Inside of "The Hat" are many small, folded pieces of paper with the names of whomever is "box office" trendy at the moment - some think there may actually be 2 hats - one male, one female, but I don't think so

Q. - Whose names are in "The Hat"?
A. - If you were on E!, Extra!, Access Hollywood or any similar production sometime in the last 7 years... you're in there. After falling out of "The Hat" for 5-7 years, depending on how bad your drug/legal problems are, you can actually get put back in "The Hat" as a "comeback story" - similar side note: Will somebody please wake up Michael Keaton's agent and get some drug/legal issues strummed up... (maybe have him busted freebasing with a transexual hooker and a giant sex toy...yeah, that'll get people talking... "I'm Batman, Beotch!)

also Tom Cruise is perilously close to being permanently banned from "The Hat" - You can't handle the truth, Maypother!!! Don't complete us, we'll complete YOU!!! You're on the wrong couch, dude

Q. - What the hell is the purpose of "The Hat"?
A. - One purpose is keeping Phyllis Diller at work - seriously, thank GOD she only does cartoon voices now. And I'm starting to think Al Pacino must have pictures of somebody to keep getting pulled.
The keepers of "The Hat" reach in, pull out 2 names and Whammo! the Green light is on, now go make a movie!!!

Oscar Winner Al Pacino and a face-for-radio Phyllis Diller in...

Scent of a...Dude, Is that a woman?

also starring Ashton Kutcher, Hillary Clinton, and Michael Keaton as "Tom Hanks"

see? The purpose of "The Hat"...these things practically write themselves.

Q. - How does Manny Stiles know about "The Hat"?
A. - C'Mon...how else do you explain such phenomena as "Showtime" with Eddie Murphy & Robert DeNiro, "Bringing Down the House" with Steve Martin and Queen (where's the King?) Latifah, or every movie starring Nicholas Cage, Ben Stiller, or Jack Black ? (when are you gonna be in Scottsdale again, Jack?) Obviously, making a movie isn't about making a GOOD movie, or sometimes even making money as much as it is about pleasing "The Hat"

So to sum it up....

Why haven't the following movies been made yet?
(Let's get "The Hat" out, find a crappy band to re-do a song horribly and make it happen!!!!!)

"Saturday Night Live" - the movie of course would have to suck AND be loved at the same time
"We've Run Out of Scripts" - a multi-megastudio production
"Citizen Kane" - by Peter "My ego humps itself" Jackson and Jerry "Let's Blow It Up" Bruckheimer
A "Goonies Reunion"
An Actual "Mickey Mouse Movie" (that mouse hasn't done crap in a loooong time)
"Top Gun" (modern day remake with actors that could make plausible pilots this time)
"Jump The Shark" - the movie
"Pointless Movie where "name a starlet" gets topless, etc" - preferrably starring many starlets [these are always a winner]
"The Last Guy Without A Cellphone" (aka the Manny Stiles Story)
"Transexual Love Saga"
"The Neverstarting Story"
"Richard Starkey" - see my post "Free Movie Idea" below
"The Manny Stiles Story" - A guy goes for the big cash grab
"Jackass meets the Stooges" - Mike Myers as Moe, Robin Williams as Larry (both gimmes) and pull a Curly, Shemp and Joe out of "The Hat"
"Extremely Loosely Based on a True Story"
"The Hat - The Hollywood Hat Theory" - A Manny Stiles/Beats By Man Production

I can go on with more...but this blog entry is getting lengthy...

Hollywood Hat people - get your people to call my people, please....

The Password is...

The topic of this blog is somewhat related to my New Year's resolution for 2006 -

Passwords (my resolution is to change all of my passwords)

How many passwords do you use? PINs, security codes, lock combinations, etc...

How many things need passwords nowadays? Computer applications obviously, websites, etc...

I tried to figure out how many passwords I had the other day - I couldn't figure it out! Keep in mind, I am NOT a write-it-down-and-hide-it kind of password person. I know many people who are like that. I am also NOT a use-one-password-and-slightly alter it kind of person either (spring01, spring02, spring03). I know alot of people do that too... I don't know anyone who just uses random numbers and letters for Passwords (d8s5gv45, 7g2s4c, H7j5G3n) but that would certainly be interesting...

No, I am a remember-them-all-if-I-really-need-them, every application has a different password kind of person. I also use many, many 'user names', not just Manny.

I used to be a smart-assed password person - words like - 'alakazam', 'opensesame', or 'password'. But then password applications got more security conscious... so I had to use passwords like 'alakazam1', 0pensesame (that's a zero, not an O), or wordpass.

I used to use rotating passwords at work - drone1, drone2, drone3 or hatework, quitwork, dumbwork, bullwork, vacation etc...

But the whole password phenomena is curiously slightly interesting to me: So I asked some people - "what is the stupidest thing you ever used as a password?"

But then something odd occurred; what happens when you ask someone to tell you their stupidest or weirdest passwords is very interesting... facial expressions change, body position and language alters, moods sway to and fro... there is something deep inside of people, emotional and personal that is linked to passwords...(maybe one day I will delve into this phenomenon a little further! Or maybe not)

However, after moderate prying - these are some of the answers:

Pet names or variation of kids names (very popular, but not stupid, just dull...)
"all zeros"
"I once used just a spacebar for the password"
"Is this for your blog?"
"I've used the same password all my life"
"generic01, generic02, etc.."
"1234qwer" (look at your keyboard)
"I can't remember any of the ones I don't use any more"

And there were many dumb but not funny or even barely noteworthy passwords.

Amazingly! There was only ONE person to give me any blatently offensive terms used for passwords... (excellent work, I might add)

So as you can see and probably knew, but wasn't very aware of or really gave a crap about... the world is full of dull and boring passwords... (about the same ratio of dull and boring people)

So now passwords are just like opinions & birthdays - everyone's got one! (a$$holes and belly buttons can be surgically/accidentally removed ya know, not EVERYONE has one)

Playing the Name Game

****Warning: Here comes an over-the-edge prediction****

First a little background - Most people would agree; death is not a funny issue.

I, however think death can VERY much be a funny issue. It's very much a part of life! And to me, life is a hilarious series of hilarities thinly veiled by depression, sorrow, pain and suffering, death and taxes.

Unfortunately (or fortunately for me) - I think death is USUALLY funny; as long as it's not me, right??? Check out the link to DeadorAliveInfo.com (then check out how Orville Reddenbacher died)

[sidebar - actually, if I have an open-casket funeral (we'll see...) when I die, I want to dressed in full clown makeup and gear- this way everyone's last glimpse of me won't be of a fake looking human being, but more of a true representation of what is lying (there's a funny word) in that box - a vessel, not a being - my body will be there, but I won't; ya know? I am such a clown]

But what really baffles me is why the following scenario hasn't happened in a large, meaningful scale yet...

Imagine there's a person who has a very regular name becomes REALLY famous... the world love's them, then they screw up royally and become a scourge to society.

Then imagine there's a regular-seeming, but secretly unstable person out there with the exact same name.

Well the famous person ends up ruining the daily events of the regular person - the endless teasing, constant references to the works of the famous person, repeated teasing, more teasing, endless teasing, prank phone calls, people pretending to be papparazzi and then one day, they SNAP!!!! There are people out there teetering on this right now (see Office Space/Michael Bolton, Simpsons/Max Power episode to a lesser extent...)

The 'regular' person hunts down the 'famous' person with the same name and kills them!!!

I think that would be funny, ya know depending on the circumstances of course... (I hope there's not a lot of pissed-off Emmanuel Stiles's out there).

Imagine if it was TWO famous people involved in this scenario!!! Like Michael Keaton (whose REAL name is Michael Douglas) killing Michael Douglas (whose Dad's real name is Issur Danielovitch). That would shake up the world of entertainment, eh?

I know there's a Michael Jackson out there right now contemplating this... Odds are less there's an O.J. or Jessica Simpson, Dr Phil McGraw or Tom Cruise lurking in the darkness to make my day a little brighter (darn it).

It's not that I want to see people die - I'm not wishing death on hardly anyone - ok, maybe Dr Phil- I just like some good headlines every now and then..

3 Things

I have always had a very simple philosophy when it comes to this "living" in this world/realmspace at any given moment...

There are only 3 things you can do.

1. Make it better

2. Make it worse

3. Let it stay the same

keep in mind, letting things stay the same may make them better OR worse, in result...

there ya have it.

Here's a list of other "3 things" - in no logical order

-Up, down, in between
-neutrons, protons, electrons
-gold, silver, bronze
-the chicken, the egg, dinner
-win, lose, draw
-run, bike, swim
-the Three wise men - Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker
-the Three wise guys - Captain Morgan, Jose Cuervo, Alexander Popov
-Kentucky Derby, The Preakness, Belmont Stakes
-Bart, Lisa, Maggie
-paper, rock, scissors
-boys, girls, hermaphrodites
-punt, pass, kick
-Jesus & the two thieves
-Moe, Larry, Curly
-if, and, but
-right, wrong, depends on who shoots first
-good, better, bestest
-you, me, them
-yesterday, today, tomorrow
-time, space, everything we aren't allowed to know yet
-have you ever read Goldilocks?
-"and the rest" (as a tribute to Season 1 of Gilligan's Island)

So you can now see there is almost never a two sided issue, even a piece of paper still has an edge. (only exception I could find - Tupac & Biggie)

It has been God's gift to me to always see a third option. To me there's more than two sides to EVERYTHING - we live in a three dimensional world, afterall. Yes, this makes me very much an a$$hole to some, 'argumentative' to others. But I am really seeking peace through confustication.

Since my goal in this blog is to solve the world's problems through me making this blog a forum for raising the world's peoples general awareness and guaranteeing my impending wealth from my multi-award winning records, movies and obligatory book deals.

I just want to remind the world, even though somewhere there's going to be something you can't imagine that's going to happen, it's still fun to try.

Free movie idea #1

I promised a free movie idea, here - I will submit for your approval:

"Richard Starkey" by Manny Stiles and [your name here]

I would rather see someone else make this movie because I'm too lazy/'busy' to get it done myself

It starts out rather odd in that the opening sequence is set in heaven.
God is having a routine staff meeting with his angels. Determine a few main angel characters including Elko - he's kind of a jackass for a guardian angel. (Any current Hollywood Male can star in this movie)

You see his journey through history; guarding semi-important side characters throughout the bigger events in history...ad lib, etc plenty of opportunity to build Elko's personality

Well... one sequence has Elko guarding someone who is 'not supposed to get in the way'. Elko is chatting with Lucifer, feeling the dark side's charms - gets caught 'redhanded' by God - The person whom Elko was to guard turns into...say.. OK, here's where ya pick your angle....um Hitler?, Lee Harvey Oswald? something time-sensitive from the 1940's to 70's...

Here's where you freak religeousy people (if they aren't already) God punishes Elko by Making him become guardian angel of a young Richard Starkey (aka Ringo Starr) and to ENSURE HE BECOMES A BEATLE as punishment

So you make up Ringo's childhood near mishaps that Elko has to bust his ass to ENSURE RINGO BECOMES A BEATLE...you got it..?

His angel buddy says he has it easy - "I've read the script on this guy" the other angel says as he thumbs in the direction of Charles Manson. "Elko, don't let them record Helter Skelter, dude" he says. Elko replies "that's your problem & (something catchy)" Have fade in/fade outs cross through stars...

Fill in the gaps, glorify Ringo to an extent - go into his character Maybe Pete Best can be bought into the concept - Don't buy dogfur coats as gifts for Paul McCartney and maybe he'll be keen. Do that and everyone in Hollywood will wanna be a piece of this and may work cameos/"on the cheap"...

I think Ringo would love this concept- if ya know him, ask him (pay him) if he wants to make a cool movie

Then as the Beatles get gro0vin' the movie cuts out at the Shea concert -then have your cheesy montage of the Beatles' journey through time - fade to today- God's happy as pie and explains it to Elko that God 'really does know what he's doing... ' Switch to scene of Charles Manson being interviewed by some dorkus reporter.

Then comes the final scene, where God turns itself around and your about to see 'it and...

For the ending and shared credits, send: $500 to Manny Stiles P.O Box....

I'm kidding.. unless you really just want to send me money. mannystiles@aol.com

God turns it's face

and it's

really




.....really really

..... Ringo Starr!!!




Then exit to one of Ringo's songs, roll credits, ...you just explained history...


Yet Another Beats By Man Production... a division of MuTeCoRe

...do a part 2 if ya want; where another angel does something similar with several more 2nd rate stars, instead of one main Starr!!!



***Don't like that one?*** be patient, there's more to come, matey...no worries

If you read this, you've gone too far

A few things -

If you're interested in purchasing any of my recordings, feel free to e-mail me or one of my 'associates' @ mannystiles@aol.com





depending on how cool you are I'll make a tailor-suited CD containing somewhere in the neighborhood of 13-20 songs - obviously you're extra cool if you're reading this blog, right?





ALL for a measly $5.00USD (free freakin' shipping included, too!)- email me for the DEEtales

I can sell CD's for $5, because I'm the producer, distributor, marketer, performer, writer, agent, and President of Beats By Man Productions - so my overhead is low (that's good business speak)

Where else can you find a CDs worth of music for $5 ? ? ?

*****THIS WEEK'S BLOG SPECIAL*****

[Mention this BLOG]

I will include one of the stupidest songs ever recorded, FOR FREE!!! (purchase of CD required)
"Din dint dunn (Philadelphia)" Manny Stiles featuring Jerm from Chemland (representin' Ridge Squad)

Here's a reeal life recommendation:
"I am actually listening to it right now, it may be the stupidest songs EVER, but it bumps" - music enthusiast & shameless self-promoter Erik Kombol


*****THAT WAS THIS WEEK'S BLOG SPECIAL*****

in other news;

if you're reading this regularly, I hope you are amused, entertained and even possibly enlightened, unheavied or contemplating entertaining the thought of separating yourself from your cash for a very worthy cause - the success of my Production company [warning:shameless promotion ahead] Beats by Man Productions, a divisioin of MuTeCoRe.


The purpose of me blogging was indeed to crack open the music realm and pour it into the written mediums. But occasionally I'll toss in some movie script ideas...that's write...oops I mean "right!!!" I am willing to sell movie concepts to the highest bidders - some I'll give away for free if people just MAKE THE MOVIE - more on that later

I gave ya a taste of a column that was current eventy - I might do a weekly news piece unless some one objects because it sucks or something...

A Guide to New Year's Resolutions - by Manny Stiles, is coming SOON!!! Watch the flock OUT!!!

A new regularly featured piece will be a picture with song lyrics - actual Manny Stiles written, performed, collaborated or produced songs of random importance - you'll see

"I will try to keep stuff fresh" - that is my Blog mission statement of the week

If you find this interesting, tell a friend to read it too - Let's start a pointless, yet hopefully financially rewarding (for me, of course) phenomena!!!

and to quote my senior yearbook - "love, peace and hairgrease"

Today

Wake up in the morning and promise yourself - "today will be a good day"

That's all. Say it, know it, believe it, be it, live it, love it - rinse and repeat!
When you believe it is really true, it will be just as you believe... you will make it so!

Then when the day ends you can smile and say "today was a good day"

I can't wait for tomorrow...

Totem

Be Patient.

Be Diligent.

Take your time.

It's a looong road.

Bloggity-bloggy-blog

(note: for this post, instead of f-bombs, I will use the word 'blog' and in lieu of the generally accepted 'S' word for feces, I will use the term 'web')

Pardon me for blogging being mad as web, but I had a blogged-up webby day today.
A few nagging items - I HATE that I have to post this - but here we are...

1) Why should adults have to 'act' like adults? Why can't we just blogging BE adults instead of actors?
I never will pretend to be the most 'mature' person in the world, but it seems to me the rest of the world is kinda webby and pretty damned blogged-up...
[This is gonna be all over the place, so bear with me - I gotta get this bloggin' web off of my blogging chest.]

I am tired of so-called adults acting like little blogging babies. I have little need or regard for people who are more concerned with what others are doing than what they are doing. I'll mind my blogging web, you mind your own web, and we'll get along just blogging fine! Go engross yourself in gossipy web all you want, I have better web to do... tangible web.

That means I am an adult, I'll handle my responsibilities, do what I need to do and those that depend on me know this is true...That's my responsibility, not yours. This also means that if you're an adult, you don't need to concern yourself with my blogging web, so stay out of MY blogging web. (but enjoy my weblog all you like!)

For instance - if I'm busy at work, you should be busy too; or one would assume. Your job is not to worry about what I am doing, that's MY job. I am an adult. But if you're overwhelmed and blogging frazzled as web, just because you can't handle your web doesn't mean you need to start looking externally for someone to pass your web off to.

I may appear to be an aloof and cavalier individual, and somewhat of that is correct. But perceptions are NOT always reality. People who buy into their 'perceptions' are webheads. Your eyesight will lie to you faster than any other sense. You will jump to conclusions faster through vision than any other sense. You will assume the role of a bloggin' webhead faster by 'perceiving' than MINDING YOUR OWN BLOGGING WEB!!!

So when you see me not doing what YOU think I should be doing, get back to what you should be doing before assuming I'm blogging off. Getting all tattle tale 3rd gradish and trying to demean me to my superiors is bullweb. Grow up, you whiny blogs.

When you start slinging web, you start out with web on YOUR hands... bring others down will not bring you up - karma is coming to get you bloggers!!!

2) Some people think talking about certain things is 'immature'. Example - Talking about taking a web is considered by some to be childish and immature. I realized today that not being able to talk about things like this is WAY more immature. Grow the blog up you pretentious blogs! I web, you web. we all blogging web - get over it, get over yourself - go out and get blogged every once in a while - it would do you some blogging good...

3) When I'm in my car, I like to play some CDs with my homemade music on them. It gives me a chance to review and learn the intracacies of songs I have written; my very own songs. So for me to sing along with them, nod my head or to drum/strum along to the beat (I play all the music on most of them as well) as to practice and refine the songs would seem pretty logical, no? Driving is a good time for me to do this...

Why is it that when someone drives next to you on the highway and they see you doing your thing, they assume your singing off key or don't know the words or just think your some kind of dork - like they would feel if they were 'acting' like you. I don't act motherbloggers! It's the real deal. (when idiots look at me singing and make faces, I usually start singing LOUDER)

First off, I don't blogging care what you think, why must you care what I'm doing? You just operate your 3000lbs of automobile in a safe manner down the highway and stop concerning yourself with other people's web. Don't assume everyone is a dumbblog like you, arrhythmic, creativeless bastards...

4) To sum it up, not everyone is like you. Appreciate it, embrace it, LOVE IT. Let us be who/what we are...

5) Don't let perceptions override sensibility. Don't trust your perceptions - you really aren't as smart as you think. (me either) You NEVER know the whole story.

6)And realize -SURPRISE!!!- YOU are not the most important thing in the world - let people be people their own way. It's not your responsibility to babysit adults. Don't be a blogging webhead!

With that - I promise no more of this negative web for a while. And I'll try to clean up my blogging webby language from now on.... just Love, Peace, Butterflies, Rainbows, Unicorns and Flowers from now on!!!

Everybody Get High (on mountains)

Ahhh, mountain climbing. One of many Manny pursuits.

On Sunday, I ventured over to Camelback Mountain nestled between Phoenix, Scottsdale and Paradise Valley, Arizona... If you've never seen Camelback Mountain, it looks from certain angles kinda like... yes, a camel's back. See?














Yes, I realize there are approximately 9,345 "Camelback Mountain"s in the world (2 that I know of in Arizona alone), but I chose this very one...Anyway, 2704 feet (824 meters) of vicious and un-soft rock spring up from the metropolis and serves as somewhat of a emblem for what the Valley of the Sun represents.

Camelback is quite the hotspot for the adventuresome and crazy alike, especially during weekends... even more so on weekends like this past weekend - ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!

Yes, many people climb mountains for whatever reason -There were a lot of people climbing on Sunday- I will break them down by type here -

10-12% - the crazy nuts; the veritable crazy nuts, not just crazy like me... people wearing half-shirts, ankle weights, carrying IPods and head band accessories running up and down at full speed - that's not for me.

25% - the "Snotsdale" sort. The middle aged to just plain old; too rich for their own good Scottsdale ladies wearing the most fashionable sweatsuits available because as everyone knows - the more expensive the outfit, the better mountain climber you are. Or at least the more acceptably realistic your breast implants and plastic surgery appear. Um, yeah...

50-70% depending on the time of day - the group I like to refer to as the medically weird. These are the people that always climb the mountain at a normal pace and dress normal and appear normal. But they have this one glaring personality trait - they MUST speak about their medical condition, or their latest surgery or their doctor of various sorts to their companion climbing pack. It is commonplace to be passed by a group talking about random ailments and the issues associated. Many of these people were even badly hurt climbing mountains!!! From laser eye surgery to colon check ups; stay on the mountain long enough and you'll hear it all.

30-80% - the socially HOT!!! Any given day, you will find the smokin' babes climbing mountains. I suppose there's hot dudes too (other than myself) Obviously, these people are in shape, too. Are you single? Trouble finding attractive adventurous hotties? Go climb a mountain - it's like shooting fish in a very small barrel.

2-6% - the strollers - these folks are just out enjoying the nice day. They look around, enjoy the nature, respect the mountain, never get in anyone's way, and they see no need in going all the way to the top. Nice people

15-20% - photographers - for obvious reasons = the views AND the hotties

40-60% - people who just want to get/stay in shape. You'd think it would be more....

40-60% - people who want to look like they are in shape.

6% - 15% - kids and dogs who get dragged up the rocks by their masters/owners.

3% - the assholes who get to the top, hang out for 3 hours and bullshit about how awesome they are, how many times they climbed the mountain that day or who claim to have better lives than they obviously do. They scout the climbers looking for a willing or unsuspecting victim. You'd think there'd be LESS of these types of people on mountaintops, but...life is cruel. You nearly die climbing to the top, then you wanna die having to tolerate being in the same vicinity as these types. Unfortunately, they never hang out close enough to any of the steep edges or cliffs...

less than 1% - people who climb mountains for a blog topic

Of course, I am in all of the above groups...

While there are no ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) sponsored trails, the two main trails up Camelback have undoubtedly added to the numbers of people benefiting from the ADA. I know of two people personally whom have been assisted down the mountain with the aid of helicopters. Fun, painful and expensive times!!!

Climbing Camelback on either of the two main trails is not a stroll in the park, but it's not impossible - I did it! But it is work and in certain sections does require using your hands for leverage and using the utmost care and balance so not to become a bloody, smeary victim of gravity. Let's not forget the screaming hamstrings and calf muscles and grinding knee and ankle joints as a sidedish. I did bash my elbow on a rock on the way down, and bled just the right amount to look mountain-rugged fresh.

Well, it took me 1 hour 20 minutes going up, 45 minutes coming down (about 15 minutes at the top taking pictures); but I made it!!! Here's proof!!!

Of course, when I got to the bottom, I ran full speed for the last 20 yards so the people just starting out could say "look at that crazy nut"

Hmm... winter's coming

Yeah, it's that time of year. You can smell it in the air. That 'winter's coming' smell. You feel the chill. The wind whips around the Halloween decorations that you haven't taken down yet. You see the leaves falling from the deciduous trees, leaving their annual slop. Anyday now (or maybe several times already) the squalls and drifts will be a regular/ongoing occurance. That bitter to-the-bone wind will howl. Snowmen will sneer at you through the front window with their inheritly evil grins. Snow Angels won't seem so heavenly at all. A pile of wet, slushy boots will accumulate in the doorway. Jack Frost will nip at you like a crackhead begging for spare change.
Such is life in the northern latitudes:
There you are bundling up with gloves, hats and cussing while scraping off and digging out the family automobile. (Don't forget to get out the door 15 minutes earlier to warm it up so the heater gets going).
Then there's the back ache from shovelling the sidewalk and driveway; the mess from the salt and cinder on the roads. Of course this is the time of the year when everyone else on the road has somehow forgotten how to drive in snow even though they just did it last year...
There's the heating bill (damn oil prices) to occupy your mind unless you spent the last 4 months chopping enough firewood (unlikely scenario).
Winter has it's good moments too! It ends in the Spring.

Here in Arizona, what you call winter, I call Spring II. It's perpetually sunny, warm and there's somewhat of a chance to wear jeans and a sweater at night. I'm not sure if I can handle the next 4 months or so of 70 degree days, but I'll try my best. We all suffer in our own ways I guess... OUR suffering comes in the form of 'snowbirds'. The annual flock of the northerners swarming the valley like crackheads at a loose change convention. (It's so easy to make fun of crackheads, eh? See! They are good for something! Just like snowbirds!)

Once, a friend from back east described snow to me as what happens when rain freezes. I then asked "what is this 'rain' thing you refer to?"

Anyway; as you can only imagine, it's pretty effin' nice out here all the time... I'm gonna go sip on a cocktail in my lounge chair out back and incrementally increase my chances of acquiring skin cancer!!! Throw an extra marshmallow in your hot chocolate for me! Don't hate me, hate those bastards in the Southern Hemisphere who are about to have their summer (do they still call it winter??).