Friday, April 11, 2014

Man...

sometimes it is hard to remember that other people go through the journey of life in a different way/manner/perspective than yourself!

The same event witnessed by a nine year-old you and a 39 year-old you CAN make quite a difference!

Seeing those two things in physical evidence - as in "pictures"..........

Going through old pictures can give you some framework to understanding yourself!

I was looking back at myself as an infant in pictures and it's amazing how many pictures from the pre-digital age show much more of the surrounding family environment than what we actually remember!

It's crazy how the longer you haven't thought about something MIGHT correlate with how much we give a shit about why we thought to think about it THAT much...in the first place.

Analogy of the night: We fill a room with noise much like we do a light. What kind of light are we being? What kind of light do we shine on any picture?

I feel bad for you suckers in life who see a picture of your self and somehow can't find a point of pride! Maybe, it is how I am? Maybe, it's how I am being who I am as a being? I thoroughly enjoy seeing myself- where I was - when I was there....No matter what "that" means!
But THESE pictures...

You'll never know which cousin I mean, but they will take it the same way... because they KNOW what it is to be one of us...cousins... the people who share the same un-chosen demons:

Oh, how I had 'that cousin' I remember being "oh, so cool" whom suddenly appears to be QUITE the dork given historical context of the picture and not ANYWHERE as cool as you could have dreamed given present context picture.

No matter what your memories say..

No matter what you remember "feeling"..

The pictures never change.

But you still have to be you - no matter who they were when you stopped being who you were without their permission.