Manny, Manny, Manny... what the hell is going on here???
Damn, I've been absent from my blog WAY too long! It's not for a lack of busy-ness. Let's see: Among other seemingly bad omens, bad breaks and bad metaphors; my computer crashed (Thank you, Microsoft; you foresight-less pricks!) and I lost EVERYTHING on it, had to rebuild 100%. That sucked. Kid's pictures - gone. Wedding pictures - gone. Vacation photos - gone, 11+ hours of home-recorded, remixed original music - gone!
If it wasn't for me realizing that I am NOT like all the other kids in the stockbroker field/the soulless corporation I attend for my daily soul-conforming and realizing I am clearly NOT pursuing my creative dreams by educating stupid people on how to get richer than I can ever be answering telephone calls, I would be depressed... Oh yeah, my wife quit her job last week for all the right reasons - I AM proud of her for having steadfast morals, and keeping proper priorities in life... (anyone need a personal trainer???) I just wish we could have crafted a wily lawsuit out of it first.
You know, kids get hungry (Eff you, Latrell Sprewell), bills need paid regularly and shoes get outgrown - my size 15's particularly! Let's see... American dream? check. Mortgage through the nostrils? check. Credit card bills through the wazoo? check. Ahhh, credit is overrated! You can't take it with you, right?? So a little struggle now build character; afterall, we'll LAUGH about this years from now (hope I get a sweet cellmate in debtor's prison - "that broke ass is MINE, bitch!")
But for every obstacle that seems like a slime covered rock in the pond of life, there is always the blessing side where all the goodies lie in wait... mmm, tasty invertabrates. Another bad analogy since two of my aquarium inhabitants; a red-claw crab and a green spotted puffer (red and green, yeah! more metaphors), have gone to the big lake in the sky. (I've been busy practicing my pet funeral ceremonies, for sure!). Of course my 3 year-old daughter keeps asking where "Mr. Krabs" and "Mrs. Puff" went to... (hey, I named them; I'm a SpongeBob fan too).
Anyway, half-full or half-empty, it's STILL just a freeking glass. Come to think about it, a half-empty glass of scotch would be a very good thing right now.
I've chosen to see the blessings in life.
- I didn't lose my kids, my wife or my memories just the pictures of them. I have about 20% backed up, mostly the better ones.
- Wouldn't be so bad if my digital camera wasn't as broke as I am! Meanwhile a Wolbouti tribesman would trade me 50 ebola-ridden acres of his inheritance for the shiny trinket even if it is worthless to me at this point. I guess it's not so bad.
- I didn't lose 11 hours of homemade music, I gained the opportunity to make those songs better! Or forget them altogether - I hang onto too manny things as it is! OK, GOD, lesson learned... thanks!
- Since I realized my employer doesn't want to utilize my creativity, I no longer care for my employer, I have felt a burden lifted from my being. I have stayed there through 9 years of fear. Stupid fear. "What will I do?" fear. That's not me... 9 years is NOT me. As with all things, getting fired WOULD be a blessing! What would I do? What I always do... figure it out, of course. Times can be tough, as long as I'm alive, I'll be tougher... eff it, that's why!
In the meantime, I bide my time, enjoy the meager benefits that I provide for my family and I stop waiting for opportunity to ride in on a shiny white horse. I am going horse hunting, donkey slaying, goat wrestling if I have to. The time has come not only to take a shot, but to fill the sky with shots in every direction. No opportunity will be laughed off, excused away or taken as unworthy. Everything is opportunity to me now, and opportunity is everything.
- I didn't lose 2 colorful pets, I gained the ability to enjoy the rest of my gilled friends even more; to be honest - the puffer was an a$$hole to all the other creatures (liked to eat my fancy shrimp and snails) and the crab was just plain dumb (even for a crab, DUMB)
- my wife can now begin chasing her dreams as she's no longer tied down to a corporate fustercluck (ANYone need a personal trainer? She can send you workout seesions via e-mail!) . Not only do I have your back sweetie, but I'm right behind you!!!
- more importantly I decided it IS TIME to chase my dreams:
I will write with a passion never before emitted from the Stilesmaster.
I am currently actively pursuing a literary agent I can semi-trust/mesh with to FINALLY get to the task of pushing my more complex story ideas from my brain onto a paycheck. Those 'movie ideas' I've been fermenting might as well be books first at this rate... what have I been waiting for anyway?
Well, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - I still crank 'em out on ArmchairGM.com.
So prepare for the Madness all eight of my loyal readers (that's me, 2 others and all of our 'other' schizophrenic personalities), The time is upon us to open up the windows and clear this stale air out!
Join me in the battle. Take every opportunity to make everything opportunity. Seize, beseige and rampage against the things you do that you "don't do". Be you, don't be what they want you to be...that's what they want. What do you want?
Go get it!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment