On Sunday, I ventured over to Camelback Mountain nestled between Phoenix, Scottsdale and Paradise Valley, Arizona... If you've never seen Camelback Mountain, it looks from certain angles kinda like... yes, a camel's back. See?
Yes, I realize there are approximately 9,345 "Camelback Mountain"s in the world (2 that I know of in Arizona alone), but I chose this very one...Anyway, 2704 feet (824 meters) of vicious and un-soft rock spring up from the metropolis and serves as somewhat of a emblem for what the Valley of the Sun represents.
Camelback is quite the hotspot for the adventuresome and crazy alike, especially during weekends... even more so on weekends like this past weekend - ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!
Yes, many people climb mountains for whatever reason -There were a lot of people climbing on Sunday- I will break them down by type here -
10-12% - the crazy nuts; the veritable crazy nuts, not just crazy like me... people wearing half-shirts, ankle weights, carrying IPods and head band accessories running up and down at full speed - that's not for me.
25% - the "Snotsdale" sort. The middle aged to just plain old; too rich for their own good Scottsdale ladies wearing the most fashionable sweatsuits available because as everyone knows - the more expensive the outfit, the better mountain climber you are. Or at least the more acceptably realistic your breast implants and plastic surgery appear. Um, yeah...
50-70% depending on the time of day - the group I like to refer to as the medically weird. These are the people that always climb the mountain at a normal pace and dress normal and appear normal. But they have this one glaring personality trait - they MUST speak about their medical condition, or their latest surgery or their doctor of various sorts to their companion climbing pack. It is commonplace to be passed by a group talking about random ailments and the issues associated. Many of these people were even badly hurt climbing mountains!!! From laser eye surgery to colon check ups; stay on the mountain long enough and you'll hear it all.
30-80% - the socially HOT!!! Any given day, you will find the smokin' babes climbing mountains. I suppose there's hot dudes too (other than myself) Obviously, these people are in shape, too. Are you single? Trouble finding attractive adventurous hotties? Go climb a mountain - it's like shooting fish in a very small barrel.
2-6% - the strollers - these folks are just out enjoying the nice day. They look around, enjoy the nature, respect the mountain, never get in anyone's way, and they see no need in going all the way to the top. Nice people
15-20% - photographers - for obvious reasons = the views AND the hotties
40-60% - people who just want to get/stay in shape. You'd think it would be more....
40-60% - people who want to look like they are in shape.
6% - 15% - kids and dogs who get dragged up the rocks by their masters/owners.
3% - the assholes who get to the top, hang out for 3 hours and bullshit about how awesome they are, how many times they climbed the mountain that day or who claim to have better lives than they obviously do. They scout the climbers looking for a willing or unsuspecting victim. You'd think there'd be LESS of these types of people on mountaintops, but...life is cruel. You nearly die climbing to the top, then you wanna die having to tolerate being in the same vicinity as these types. Unfortunately, they never hang out close enough to any of the steep edges or cliffs...
less than 1% - people who climb mountains for a blog topic
Of course, I am in all of the above groups...
While there are no ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) sponsored trails, the two main trails up Camelback have undoubtedly added to the numbers of people benefiting from the ADA. I know of two people personally whom have been assisted down the mountain with the aid of helicopters. Fun, painful and expensive times!!!
Climbing Camelback on either of the two main trails is not a stroll in the park, but it's not impossible - I did it! But it is work and in certain sections does require using your hands for leverage and using the utmost care and balance so not to become a bloody, smeary victim of gravity. Let's not forget the screaming hamstrings and calf muscles and grinding knee and ankle joints as a sidedish. I did bash my elbow on a rock on the way down, and bled just the right amount to look mountain-rugged fresh.
Well, it took me 1 hour 20 minutes going up, 45 minutes coming down (about 15 minutes at the top taking pictures); but I made it!!! Here's proof!!!
Of course, when I got to the bottom, I ran full speed for the last 20 yards so the people just starting out could say "look at that crazy nut"
4 comments:
yes it is i JERM from the east,that girls ass in the back looks just wounderful! See out here we wouldn't have those 3% of assholes on top of a mountain because they deffently would have been thrown off by now, or got beat up on the way up the mountain!
You have no mountains...
so...was that all suppose to add up to 100%? I was looking for the equal, 70% this, 20% that, and 5% whatever. You went above and beyond the call of duty on percentages my fellow philo-ci-fye-zer:) Nice Pic! Hey Sundays, is the Fire Fighter hiking day for those who want to see hot men in uniform.............
The percentages are 'floating averages' - but the 3% assholes never change
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