Listen here, freaks!!!

A few ponderments on a few 'hot topics' for those of you so inclined...

-Barry Bonds and baseball
*how many home runs did Babe Ruth hit on cocaine (for most of his career 'coke' was not only LEGAL, but commonplace)?
*Human Growth Hormone was first made synthetically in 1959. Please convince me that no professional athletes had access to HGH until the last few years?
*somehow, NO ONE is complaining that football players MIGHT be using HGH since there are no tests available with reasonable accuracy

-celebrities
*OK, am I the only one who noticed there are now more famous people than un-famous people (thank you MTV, American Idol and COPS)
*also, not one single celebrity has a valid opinion (except for me, Mike Tyson, Andy Dick, Magic Johnson, Paul Reubens, Brooke Shields and Rosie O'Donnell)
*I'll bet you know more about Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton, Chutney Spears and Tom Cruise than you know about most of your neighbors. You'll never MEET these 'stars' but your neighbors could blow up your block or murder your family in the middle of the night. Think about that as you're TiVoing Access Hollywood

- global warming
*what is it? 90% of the worlds population lives under 100 ft above sea level? Make an investment in the future. Buy real estate at 100 ft and above, then when the oceans rise, you'll have shorefront property (for a while)
*realistically, you'll be dead (as will Al Gore) before it really impacts you (but, since the world will end April 8th, 2018 why be concerned?)
*shipping costs will decrease since the Northwest Passage will open the Arctic Ocean for travel. Also seafood will get cheaper since warmer waters will lengthen the growing seasons. Everybody wins!

-who cares/etc.
*the new Batwoman is a lesbian - does this mean Batman & Robin can come out too?
*from CNN.com -today the FDA "approved a new vaccine to protect against cervical cancer in girls and women" which is great, but when will they fight cervical cancer in boys and men?
*Today is "Go kill a manatee day" since Florida's Wildlife Commission has delisted the manatee as a endangered species. Sea Cow burgers for everyone!
*Al Qaeda's leader is dead, that makes up for everything, right? Gee, now we'll have to kill his replacement. Then that guy's replacement and that guy's replacement until we finally dig up Osama's rotting corpse (who's really been dead for 4 years now...) then Al Qaeda will finally give up this thousands of years-old vendetta they have been holding onto.
*Immigration - ummm, did you know that almost every American's heritage comes from immigrants
*The Church of Scientology is sponsoring a NASCAR car. Yep.