Noah Tall

If you know me, there's something very obvious about my physical being. If you've never met me, I'll tell you what it is... I am tall. I am six feet and six inches tall. To be more accurate, I am exactly two meters tall. 6'6" is tall enough to be tall, but not tall enough to be freaky TALL.

Either way, most likely I am taller than you. (If you ARE taller than me, I'll still dunk on you).
When I go anywhere there are crowds, I can see right over all of the heads.

Being tall is perceived as some sort of positive attribute. (...except for living in a world designed for 'regular' sized people) It is! Being tall enables me to decipher a person's intelligence just by meeting them!
Here's a few things a stupid person will say to a tall person upon meeting them... [my smart-assed responses in brackets]

"You're tall!" [you say exactly what you think, don't you?]

"If I was as tall as you, I'd..." [still be stupid]

"Have you always been tall?" [Yes, Mom went through 9 days of labor]

"How tall are you?" [I'm actually the world's smallest jumbo dwarf]


Why does uttering these phrases make you stupid?

Replace the word tall with any other obvious physical attribute and re-read those phrases... such as...mustached, big breasted, black and disabled for instance

"You're mustached!"

"If I was as big breasted as you, I'd..."

"Have you always been black?"

"How disabled are you?"

Suddenly, you're stupid AND an a$$hole! Can you see how stating the obvious is insulting to everyone except the idiot stating the obvious? [did I just state the obvious?]
Then again, these are the same people who get into car accidents while rubbernecking car accidents...

Try any attribute in place of tall and try those phrases... pigeon-toed, floppy-eared, drunk, box-shaped, Irish, smelly, naked, scarred, transexual, left-handed, balding, sick, pointy-nosed, elbowless, immature, bloody, mohawked, etc. You get the idea...

But for some reason, someone is always willing to remind me that I am indeed still tall [we're all the same height in bed] as if whacking my cranium on things all of those hundreds of times makes me forget... wait... does it?

The point is... I didn't get to choose to be tall. I had really, um... nothing to do about it... but I do choose not to be stupid [even if you're smarter than me, I'll still dunk on you], so thanks for telling me I'm tall!